attackfish: Jet and Zuko fighting in the teashop, text "Obviously this is the place to come if you want to get murdered by lunatics" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
[personal profile] attackfish
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: the Last Airbender. I don't own Twilight. I don't own NCIS. I don't own Star Wars. I don't own Harry Potter. I did however, have to go to high school, and that's as close to ownership I come to anything in this fic.

Summary: There are so many ways for it to blow up in their faces, but that's what makes it fun.

Author's Note: Written for [personal profile] mihnn in the [livejournal.com profile] orderofthelotus fic exchange. Also, I would like to take this chance to thank [livejournal.com profile] lavanyasix and [livejournal.com profile] floranna for betaing this. (Thank you!)



Five Worlds in which Sokka Never Did Manage to Propose to Suki, and One in which He Didn't Have To


Somewhere in Forks Washington...

"No, Suki, you don't understand." He waved his hands, and jabbed a finger at his face. "This skin is the skin of a killer!"

She tilted her head and straightened up. "I admit it's not great, but really, there are amazing things that can be done with foundation."

"Look, Suki," he stammered.

"I know a store in town where they can make it look like you aren't even wearing make up. They can teach you how to hide that... whatever it is, glandular issue? Anyway, nobody has to know."

"This isn't about my skin," he yelped. "This-"

"The people there might even be able to give your skin a healthy glow!" she told him completely seriously. At least she looked serious. He kind of hoped she wasn't. "Don't take this the wrong way, Sokka, you know I think you're plenty cute, but your skin kind of has this grey thing going on."

"Uh..." What was somebody even supposed to say to that?

"They're fantastic with bronzer, I mean, Sokka, they can take care of that in no time." She patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. "We can go now, right? Give me one minute, I'm just going to call and see if they're open."

As she ran off to get her cell phone, Sokka slumped down between the roots of one of the big trees all around him. Putting his head on his knees, he wondered how angry she would be if he tried to hide before she got back.

~*~

At the NCIS headquarters, Washington D.C. Navy Yard...

"I can't believe they're going to make us babysit some JAG off-"

A familiar, suddenly foreboding voice came from behind to interrupt him. "Some JAG off, huh?"

Sokka's eyes were close to bulging out of their sockets as he spun around. "Suki! Uh! You must be-"

"Your friendly neighborhood Judge Advocate, yeah." She gave him a smirk. "Cute pun."

"Um, I uh..." He swallowed and looked back at Mai. "Why didn't you tell me she was behind me?"

"I did. I twitched my eyebrows."

Sokka's mouth dropped open. "How was I supposed to know that meant something?"

"Whatever," Mai sighed heavily. "I'm going to go tell Toph and Pakku that the JAG off we have to babysit is here."

"You're going to tell them I said that, aren't you?" Sokka's lower lip jutted out.

She raised her eyebrows, mercifully without twitching them. "Yep."

With that, she stalked out of the room. As soon as the door had shut behind her, Suki turned to Sokka. "JAG off, huh? I thought you had a little more respect for the job I do than that."

"Um." That was all he seemed to be saying lately. It wasn't going to help if he said he didn't think they were going to send her.

She put a hand on his shoulder and stared intently into his eyes, until he thought about panicking. "Do I have to put you in a dress and tie you to my bed again?"

"Uh..." There went his plans. "Yes please?"

~*~

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Sokka3PO stroked the small light display on the wall of the Millennium Suki's computer room. "Yeah, I didn't like those asteroids much either."

The lights on the panel he was touching fluttered.

"I know. But you got to tell me what's wrong with the hyperdrive so I can fix it, and get out of here. No more asteroids, I swear," he murmured to her. "Be nice if you hurried up too, I mean, before Captain Solo gets all shouty."

"Coward," the Suki's ship language echoed through his circuits. He could feel her laughter all over.

He wished his face could smile. "Awww, that's not fair."

"Chicken," she taunted.

"I bet I'm the bravest protocol droid you ever met," he shot back. "I'm just flying around with a bunch of crazy people."

The Suki tried an audible snorting sound, but it just sounded like she was blowing him a raspberry. "Your suffering must be unbearable."

"Oh, it is," he retorted. He fingered the cable connecting him to her, letting her voice into his body. "How about when this is all over, we spend some alone time, plugged in together, with nobody else around, you know, alone..."

She sent him a warm wave of electric happiness. "Is that so, baby?"

"3PO!" Toph Solo barked. "Quit cuddling with the Suki and get that hyperdrive up and running!"

"Our love will have to remain hidden just between us, my sweet," he whispered to the ship.

The panel lights lit up to form a heart.

~*~

At Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Ravenclaw Common Room)...


Snoring softly, Sokka sat with his head sunk against his chest. The lights had gone out hours ago, and the bouquet he had enchanted dangled from one hand. When everybody had gone upstairs before Suki had come into the dormitory, he couldn't believe his luck, but as the hours dragged on and she didn't show, his eyes had drooped closed, his head had drooped down, and his body had just drooped.

Distantly, before sleep claimed him entirely, he wondered what everybody was going to think when they found him like that in the morning.

The door opened, rustling across the carpet and jarring Sokka from his sleep. "Suki!" he cried, louder than he meant.

"Sokka." She held the glowing end of her wand up. "What are you doing here? It's one o'clock in the morning."

What were you doing? he wanted to ask. "I, uh, I wanted to give you these?"

Gingerly, Suki took the bouquet he thrust into her face. As soon as the stems touched her fingers, a roar like a cannon filled the room, and the flowers erupted into flames, blasting smoldering petals everywhere, and worse, into Suki's face. She screamed. The flowers fell to the floor as she clawed at her face. Sokka screamed too.

"You- you- what is wrong with you?"

"They're supposed to explode into bloom, not just explode," he yelled, voice high. "I'm so sor-" When they both looked up, the Common Room was full of students, and Professor Flitwick, radiating fury. "-ry."

~*~

In the band room of Nowheresville High School, USA...


"Confess," she murmured into his neck before breaking the kiss to poke her finger into the tip of his nose. "The real reason you joined the band was so that you could use the practice rooms during lunch hour for nefarious purposes."

"Not true," he justified, wishing his voice would stop going so embarrassingly squeaky. "Percussion is my art."

To her credit, Suki, who had seen his pre-band attempt at visual art in middle school, didn't laugh. "Yeah, I forgot." She rolled her eyes instead. "You also like to bang on things and make loud noise. Drummers."

"Percussionists."

"To-may-to, to-mah-to."

"Better percussion than color guard," he said hotly. "You just prance around with flags, and fans, and batons and things, while we have to actually make music."

"Yeah, color guard is so easy," she snapped, redoing her bra clasp and shooting to her feet. "Remember when you tried to twirl my flag? You knocked yourself unconscious. We had to call an ambulance."

"Look, I'm not saying what you do doesn't take skill," he said patiently. "It's just you guys are glorified cheerleaders. You're just there to look good."

"And you're just there to sound good." She pulled her blouse straight and did up the buttons. "You know what, I can't talk to you right now. I'm gonna to get going."

The door slammed closed behind her. That probably meant asking her to Homecoming was way out. His life sucked.

Now if he could just remember where he'd put his shirt.

~*~

On Kyoshi Island, in her father's house...

Sokka woke up so suddenly, he almost jumped out of bed. "Hey, Suki!"

Suki's eye blinked open, but she turned her head into the pillow. "What?"

"I, wanted to ask you... I mean, I should have done it earlier..."

She picked her head off the pillow to shoot him a murderous look before letting it fall back down. "This is the fifth time you've woken me up like this, Sokka. Just ask."

"Ummm..."

"Look, I know you want to ask me to marry you. The answer's yes, okay?" she tried not to yell. "Now let me go back to sleep."

"Actually, I was going to ask you if Gran Gran could stay with us on Kyoshi Island for a while," he said, feeling completely rotten. "The cold's really hard on her swollen leg."

"Oh," Suki said, subdued. "Yeah, I guess. Fine."

Sokka lay back down and closed his eyes, wishing he could sink into the floor, and then the thought, a wonderful, perfect thought, hit him. "Wait, are you asking me to marry you?"

Suki didn't even open her eyes. "Just forget it, Sokka. Let's go back to sleep."

Sokka closed his eyes, and listened to her breath, slowing and evening out with slumber, but his own sleep didn't come, as raw excitement filled his veins.

"I hope you are asking me to marry you," he whispered to her. "Because if you are, when you wake up tomorrow, I am totally going to say yes!"

Her fingers curled around his.



Some of the vignettes in this fic take place in universes I have already written for.

NCIS:
Fire and Brimstone

Star Wars:

Another Wacky Day for Sokka3PO and KataraD2


Harry Potter (Hufflepuff Zuko):
Zuko's a Hufflepuff
Over the Summer
Zuko and Azula's father is revealed
Failko

High School:
Toph and Aang
Sleepover
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