attackfish

Three Novels I Will Never Write (But Kind of Wish I Could)

2012-01-16T19:41:01Z

Door Number One: The System

In life, Abigail Sharma was an inspector for Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary, the British equivalent of Internal Affairs. Now that she’s dead, she figures all that’s behind her. But when she sees the slimy piece of scum she caught taking kickbacks from a human trafficking ring bribe his way a few steps up on the reincarnation ladder , she tries to report it, and the big Gods give her a job. Root out corruption in the divine bureaucracy, with no badge and no backup, before the Gods she’s investigating manage to reincarnate her... as a slug.

Reason Not to Write: I would need to learn a lot more about British culture and law, British police procedure (for example, what rank would she even have held?), race in the UK, and Hinduism. Also, this really probably shouldn’t be written by a bored white girl from the States (Holy cultural appropriation, Batman!).

Door Number Two: The Tower Guard

Once, Anthony had been destined to be king, but now his family’s kingdom is gone, transformed into a provincial backwater to the massive Cantash Empire, and the peasant Imperial Soldier who captured him is now the provincial governor. She keeps him in a cell high in a tower in his family’s own palace. But winds in the Imperial capital are gathering, and both he and his captor will be caught up in the storm...

Reason Not to Write: I keep starting it, getting bored a chapter in, and giving up.

Door Number Three: Off Kilter

Sorcha’s old teacher was a liar, a thief, and a murderer, but she got away before he could drain her powers like he had the rest of his students. Now, a divorced mother of two, she plies her skills where she can, making her living from the smallest magics, and tries to forget the man is out there, just waiting for his chance. But when her son starts hearing voices on the wind, and her daughter keeps seeing a man’s face in the mirror, she knows her teacher is getting close. And when he mage council sends a warrant out for her arrest on charges of misuse of magic, she knows she has to act and act fast, or what he failed to do to her, he’ll do to her children.

Reason Not to Write: I don’t know, every time I try, it just keeps coming out too much like an attack on the whole genre of Urban Fantasy.

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Original Drabble: The Will of a God

2010-01-22T06:37:03Z

The Will of a God

“I thought I told you if you ever slept with a man who could not beat you in fair combat you would suffer my wrath!” the war god thundered his bloody gaze falling on the scrawny form of the man beside her. The flames from the god’s sword miraculously didn’t set the pillows on fire, but she could feel them burn where the blade touched her neck.

Her new boyfriend stared wide eyed at the shining terror standing at the foot of the bed.

She didn’t even bother pulling up the sheet and winked. “Our Scrabble matches are very combative.”

Author's Note: So it's a stupid, misogynistic, melodramatic trope, so I feel compelled to spoof.

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Short Story: Discrete Young Ladies

2010-01-09T21:30:26Z

Since the few people who commented said they'd like to see these, here goes.

Summary: A vampire has a craving to explain the facts of life to anyone who'll listen.
Disclaimer: I don't need no stinkin' disclaimer, it's original! I claim, I claim!

( Discrete Young Ladies )

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Original Drabble: Coffee Bean Ghosts

2009-05-26T17:02:10Z

Author's Note: While taking my Central American Politics class, I wanted to write something set in a world based on Guatemala at the height of the political oppression, but I never managed to get my plot to grow into anything longer than a 250 word drabble. Guatemalan society for more than a hundred years was run by the coffee growing elite, who controlled the government and enforced a form of debt slavery on the rest of the country's population. The military was almost entirely deployed internally, as an arm of political control to keep the peasents working on the coffee plantations.

Coffee Bean Ghosts

The first time Gnat stole something, it was a soldier's coat, into the belly of her dress. She had been pregnant then, so it just looked like more bump. After that, she pilfered a soldier's trousers from the laundry and a box of ammunition from the bed closest to the barracks door. That night, a bayonet hung from a string around her leg. She heard the whispers as she walked past the guards. She's just Alvero's lover, no danger.

As soon as she made her way home, she kissed her husband and he dressed in the soldier's uniform. He hefted the soldier's pack onto his shoulders, and at the rustling inside, Gnat hushed her daughter. The jungle rose thick around them as they crept away, Javier's hand around her waist. "Just looking for a little privacy," he called to the guards at the gate and they looked down at his uniform and the brown faced woman, and waved him through with a laugh.

Out of sight, Gnat pulled a handful of Coffee beans Alvero had given her to show her what she was growing out of her pocket and she tossed them to the ground behind her. "Natalia Calderon y Ortega," she said to them, and as soon as she did, they rose up and followed where She walked. In the darkness, the beans wore the face of her grandmother and stopped them each time they grew too close to soldiers. They slipped into the pack to distract her granddaughter.

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