Two Drabbles: Parselscript and Halfbloods

[attackfish]

Hey, I can actually blame these on somebody!  This post by lothy gave me the idea for the first drabble, and the first gave me the idea for the second.

I made no attempt what so ever to use Old English, Latin, or any of the numerous Scottish dialects that founders of Hogwarts might have spoken, partly because I'm lazy, partly because I don't know enough, and partly because the drabble is not at all serious.

Disclaimer: If Harry Potter were mine, the books would have a lot more wine, women, and song.

Parselscript

Salazar waved the goblet around energetically and poked Godric.  “Salazar,” the sober man began, trying to be patient.  “Thou art drunk.”

“Verilililily, my old friendh,” his companion slurred, putting his goblet down and dipping his quill in the wine instead of the ink well.  Godric moved it hastily.

Salazar pointed at what he had written and proclaimed, “Parselshcript,” but Godric only saw a row of SSSSSSSSSSSSS.

A thousand years later, Harry stared bemusedly at the spattered piece of parchment the headmistress had called him, the only living parselmouth, to interpret.  "I can't make heads nor tails of it, I'm sorry."

Half-Bloods

Ron tried to wrench his friend’s fingers away from the plush fabric of Ginny’s blanket, but Harry just pressed it closer to his chest.  “I just can’t seem to let go of it!” he cried.  The blanket was shocking pink with lurid purple flowers all over it, and he didn’t fancy clinging to it in the halls.

Hermione’s eyes widened.  “All this time you were dating Ginny, it was really just transference because it’s her blanket!”

“Erm, what are you…”

She nodded knowledgeably, “The blanket must be your mate.”

“What?” Harry looked at her blankly.

“Oh Harry, you’re half Lethifold!”

 

Comments

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

*falls over giggling*

Parselscript, indeed. Why do I suspect Godric saved it to tease Salazar with later and that's how it came down through the ages?

The second one is a cute send-up of the "He's really only attracted to Ginny because ______" arguments, although personally I'm a bit alarmed by the fact that Ginny has apparently been sleeping with a Lethifold all this time. Especially one that clashes so dreadfully with her hair. ;) (Although it is exactly the kind of color scheme I'd have loved in a blanket as a kid.)

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Salazar: How much would it take to get you to burn that?
Godric: Are you kidding? I'm keeping this. This is gold!

Actually number two was supposed to be a send up of all those "Harry is half creature and needs to find his mate" fics, but that adds a whole new and silly dimension. the blanket itself wasn't intended to be a Lethifold (otherwise, she'd be a meal) it's purely nonsensical crack.

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

And Godric never asks whether it actually says anything, because that would give Salazar a chance to take back the initiative and go all "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Oops, wrong cliche, I guess I ran across more of the H/G-negations than the other, but now that you mention it I remember them. Hee. Nice combo, then?


I was thinking maybe some subtler and well-camouflaged subspecies that either ate in smaller portions, or liked to lie in wait for long periods of time. Obviously in the continuity required for drabble #2, Lethifolds must be capable of mating with humans instead of eating them, so sharing a bed for a while without actual consumption would... okay, now I'm at risk of getting ridiculous at greater length than the actual story.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I think Godric would hear enough of Salazar's intoxicated ramblings to not care... and to know better. Poor Salazar, Godric knows him too well!

Ah, so the Lethifold is erm... a farmer Lethifold instead of a hunter! Yeah, that's it...