attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
2019-08-04 12:12 pm

500 word Drabble: On the Outside


Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar: the Last Airbender, it would never earn a TV Y-7 rating.

Summary:
Zuko is now Firelord.  That means confronting his father again after three long years.

Author's Note: Written for ultrasanaposts on Tumblr.  More information for this AU can be found on my Tumblr at the tag: "#Half Feral Firebender verse": [Link].

Warnings: dark themes

Set in the same universe as Brave Soldier Boy.

In the Outside )
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
2019-07-29 05:44 pm

800 Word Drabble: The Sweetest Fruit, The Strongest Wood

Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar: the Last Airbender, parents would sue me for their children's nightmares.

Summary:
Former Earth Kingdom rebel Zuko has a difficult time adjusting to being a Fire Nation prince.

Author's Note: Written for an anonymous asker on Tumblr for my ten thousand words celebration after reaching ten thousand posts. More information for this AU can be found on my Tumblr at the tag: "#Prince Jet Rebel Leader Zuko": [Link].

Warnings: dark themes

Set in the same universe as Inosculation.

The Sweetest Fruit, the Strongest Wood )
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2015-04-13 01:22 pm

Ficlet: Queen of Gears and Sorrow

Written for the tumblr meme prompt, Mai, Steampunk.

Queen of Gears and Sorrow

Ty Lee cocked her head and looked at her sideways. Mai wondered if that made it easier or harder for Ty Lee to orient herself when looking at something, given that she was currently hanging upside down from a very ugly, very heavily reinforced iron chandelier. “What’s wrong?”

Even more disconcerting than hanging from assorted bits of architecture was Ty Lee’s gift for always knowing what Mai was feeling. In fact, Mai was tempted to go so far as to say it was the most disconcerting thing of all about Ty Lee, though it had remarkably stiff competition. Anyway, it meant there was no real point in denying it. “Some academy kid told me to tell my designer she’s amazed how realistic I am. Again.”

“That’s probably just because of where they saw you leaving from.” With a swing and a leap, Ty Lee descended to the floor, her feet alighting on the tile with flawless grace. “Don’t worry about it.”

That’s what Mai had told herself last time. They had probably seen her leaving her ancestral home, for a given value of ancestral, since families that had won their land in the conquest two generations back, and had only gained a title one generation ago, didn’t have ancestral anything no matter how grand. They had seen her leaving her ancestral home and now the home of the greatest clockwork inventor in the world. Yes, that was probably it, except: “I was leaving the tea shop.”

“Oh,” Ty Lee hummed, sympathetically. “Well if it helps, I’m pretty sure you’re real.” She wrapped her arms around Mai. “You feel real.” She squeezed. “Yep, I can feel your ribs.”

Mai squirmed. “You can feel my ribs crack.”

“Don’t be silly Mai,” Ty Lee chirped. “I’m not hugging you nearly hard enough to crack any bone in your body, including your ribs.”

Mai was pretty sure Ty Lee could tell her exactly how many pounds of pressure per square inch she was exerting, too. The six identical copies of Ty Lee in storage downstairs probably could too, and Mai had a sudden horrible vision of all of them hugging her.

Letting go, Ty Lee stepped back. “They’re idiots. You look perfectly human to me.”

“Thanks, Ty Lee.” She almost managed to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. Maybe next time she would succeed.

Ty Lee smiled as if she hadn’t noticed. “Like I said, don’t worry about it. Now, can you wind me up? I’m kind of at the end of my rope.”

Mai nodded as Ty Lee came forward and lifted up her braid. Deftly, Mai unbuttoned the little flap on Ty Lee’s jacket and pressed the key into the warm, living skin between her shoulder blades and turned. A shudder ran through Ty Lee’s body, her limbs curling tight into her body as if she really were made of the gears and springs she so skillfully manipulated. Her head bowed, and her braid flicked Mai’s arm, and when Mai was done, Ty Lee waited for her to button up her jacket flap before planting a quick peck on Mai’s cheek and darting away down toward her favorite workshop. Ty Lee was the greatest clockwork inventor in the world, and if she needed to pretend she was one of her own inventions sometimes, who was Mai to argue?
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2015-04-12 01:54 pm

Shortfic: The Spirit of the Thing

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the Last Airbender, which is why that show is actually quality.

Summary:
Zuko's pretty sure he has a ghost of a chance of escaping Azula's trap.

Author's Note: This was written for a tumblr meme, for which the prompt I was given was Zuko, modern fantasy/sci fi/horror.


The Spirit of the Thing )


attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-08-13 12:00 am

250 word drabble: A Fire in the Sun

Written for the [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 Out with a Bang Blowout, prompt - Element.

Summary: An old man takes a nap on the beach.

A Fire in the Sun

There were rows and rows of them, the figurines on the table, and the portraits on the walls, showing dozens of variations on the same kind of tall, stern, martial man, with gleaming armor and long black hair.  "I suppose these are supposed to be Agni," he said to the clerk minding the shop next to the sun temple.  He rubbed the topknot on the head of one of the statues, and then ran his fingers over his own bald head.

The clerk nodded eagerly and started jabbering about house shrines and family blessings while he tuned her out.  He set down the figurine, and gave her a wide smile as he left the shop.

The sunlight hit him full in the face, and bounced off his nose and cheeks until it seemed to be shining out of him.  He waddled down the beach town streets on his short, pudgy legs, breathing in the playful avarice that floated palpably on the air as the locals did their best to fleece the tourists with their mouths gaping open.  As the cobblestone streets turned to sand, he idly contemplated going back to purchase one of the statues, to show it off, and to wonder at how the people of the Fire Nation saw their god, as they saw themselves.

But the smell of island flowers wafted towards him and children laughed as they ran half naked into the surf.  So instead, Agni flopped down on the sand to lie in the sun.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-08-12 09:34 am

Twenty Five drabbles for Avatar 500

I wrote these drabbles for rounds 76-100 of [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 which has now come to the end of it's natural life.



76: Space - Cavernous (200) Asami, It's easier to pretend he still takes care of her. )

77: Lotus - Flowers in the Snow (350) Korra and her White Lotus guards, She's a little girl alone. )

78: Truce - The Sun Sets Burning (300) Ursa and Iroh, he understands why she had to do it. Part of the Zenith and Nadir verse. )

79: Tomb - Morning (200) Zuko and the Fire Sages, To his son, his death is like the sunrise. )

80: Tryst - A Maiden's Dishonor (200) Yue, Yue is free and unmoored. Part of the Zenith and Nadir verse )

81: Kind - What Comes Unforeseen (200) Yue and Pakku, It's the natural conclusion of what he had begun. )

82: Greed - Deserving (275) Zuko, Back then, love had seemed like a fever dream. )

83: Loyalty - If We Never Meet Again (450) Mai and Ty Lee, It feels like the end. )

84: Hide - Corridor of Ghosts (200) Mai and Azula, A children's game. )

85: Creep - Sacred Duty (200) Aang, It's too late to avoid killing. )

86: Mood - Daring One (250) Mai, her mother, and Azula, Mai can only push so far. )

87: Lie - At Home (150) Asami, The lies in our own mind become worn and comfortable. )

88: Circle - A Sweet Sound (120) Zuko and Lin, To him, the word means family. )

89: Look - Open to the Possibilities (275) Aang and the second Bumi, Aang isn't going to stop looking. )

90: Find - Examples (200) Mai and Ozai, She has all the bad examples she needs. )

91: Character - Live With It (200) Aang and Ozai, Power is a cold thing. )

92: Stare - Flower Chains and Teapots (150) Zuko, Zuko has lost. )

93: Glass - Fire Snipe Hunt (300) Zuko and his crew, If they had ever had the opportunity to read Lewis Caroll, they would tell you they had gone through the looking glass. )

94: Weak - Pure Ideals (150) OCs, Hisa listens when others speak. )

95: Knock - Like Tears in the Sun (350) Katara, Toph, and Zuko, They go to each other. )

96: Run - Like the Wind (350) Korra and Tenzin, How do you teach a girl who has been locked away her whole life about freedom? )

97: Truth - Cold Dark Clouds Wrapped Around (250) Ty Lee and Azula, Ty Lee has always known she was safest when the lies she tells herself match the ones Azula tells her. )

98: Whisper - Circus (200) Ty Lee, No one told her her leaving was the easy part. )

99: Wise - Poking at Her (175) Katara, Somehow Katara became the wise old woman others look to. )

100: Betray - Friend (250) Azula, Ty Lee, Mai, and Zuko, That word doesn't mean the same thing to Azula that it means to everyone else. )
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-05-18 11:21 pm

350 word drabble: Day Trip

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #75, Thrill.

Summary: Because the Fire Nation had taken her freedom away from the people who had taken it from her, and nothing had changed.

Day Trip

She showed the train attendant her passport and sat down on the bench with the throngs of farmers and laborers heading out for the day to the agricultural district.  The tenements and shops sped by, below and beside the train tracks, and she could hear the faint whoosh of earthbending as it pushed them along.  As the tunnel through the wall that marked the end of the lower ring blocked out the buildings and the streets, Jin closed her eyes.

And when she opened them again, Ba Sing Se's outer wall lay in the distance, beyond the hills, and trees, and rippling pastureland.

When the train at last stopped at the outer wall, Jin didn't climb down with the rest.  She slipped away and clambered up on the ladders and handholds meant for the people whose homes were built into the wall's inward face.  There was no one on top of the wall.  No soldiers, no interlopers, no Fire Nation princess, as far as Jin could see on the miles of undulating wall, there was nobody but Jin.

Now that the Fire Nation had conquered the city, she guessed there was nobody to watch out for anymore.

Here, on the top of the wall, Jin could look down on the outside and see the barren desert stones, so different from the fair farmland and parks just inside.  She could look out over all of Ba Sing Se, and see the fields, and roofs, and courtyards, the palace, and the glittering lake waters in the distance.

There were still Dai Li agents hidden behind the walls,.  There were still tens of thousands, millions of people.  There was still the same job, and the same landlord to pay, the same hunger, and the same gang to placate.

There was nothing new except that crippling feeling of loss.  And out there, on top of the outer wall of Ba Sing Se, Jin sat hugging her knees, and trying to find something, anything they had really lost, something, someday, they could win back.

But Ba Sing Se was silent for her in the distance.


attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-04-20 11:12 pm

300 word drabble: Forest of Rooftops

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #74, Isolation.

Summary: Somehow, Ba Sing Se isn't quite big enough for them to lose themselves in it.

Forest of Rooftops

Smellerbee propped her chin up on the edge of the roof.  On the street below, Fire Nation soldiers clustered together in small groups.  Right then, she would have given anything to be able to drop down in the middle of all of them with her knife, and when she was finished, disappear back into the treetops, no, the rooftops again, safe and free.

She felt Longshot more than she saw or heard him as he sat down on the roof behind her.  "I know," she muttered.  "But it's not like any of them ever look up."

The Fire Nation soldiers never looked up.  Nobody ever looked up, and Smellerbee knew in her bones that as long as they could be high up, they would be safe.  As long as they were high up, they might as well be in the trees, in the forest, home.

"I want to go home," she heard herself say, so, so softly.

And she looked up into Longshot's you-still-could-have-been-caught face.  His expression changed, and she felt her own face fall.

"I know," she whispered.  "I know we can't leave the city like this, but it's not like we're doing any good here."

Longshot shook his head.  She let him pull her back and put his arm around her shoulder.  She looked up at the sky.  The sunlight had never been this bright in the forest.  No matter how high they climbed, there had always been the leaves of bigger, taller trees to block it out.  I wish Jet were here, she almost said.

"We're not doing anything," she said again, and Longshot didn't speak.  And that night, she knew, when he had taken her home, she was going to fall in and out of sleep, dreaming of the forests and the treetops stretching out forever.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Lin Bei Fong MWT quote)
2013-04-01 10:27 am

400 word drabble: Small and Afraid

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #73, Revolt.

Summary: Even when Sokka says the right thing, it becomes the wrong one.

Small and Afraid

He used to joke about it.  He told the kids the story a couple of times, shaking his head and smiling.  It isn't a funny joke anymore, not with the Equalists saying that that's what all benders really think, and how they treat anybody who can't bend.  Tenzin sometimes tells the story, with a tight, unhappy look.

She asked her uncle Sokka once, about it, when she was fourteen and gawky, and taller than her mother already; he was the one who kept telling the story anyway.  She remembers folding herself up on a bench in a back room of her mother's school, and watching him attempt some new fighting move.  "You want to help me practice?" He asked her.

Lin stood up reluctantly, shoulders hunched.  "Okay."

"Your mom riding you hard?"

She shrugged.

He waved her close.  "She does that to everybody, don't worry about it.  You know what she said to me first time we fought together."

Lin rolled her eyes.  "Yeah.  You only told us all the story a million times.  Why she say that anyway?  You can fight as well as anyone."

Grimacing, Sokka rested his hand on her arm.  "I think when she was a kid, she hated the way people pitied her, and assumed she was helpless because she was blind, and that for a little while she believed it."

"What does that have to do with anything?"  She stood back and slipped into a guard stance, waiting for him to do the same.

Sokka didn't move.  "What I mean is, and I don't think your mom's got any idea she's doing this, she decided that we're the ones who should be pitied everybody who isn't Toph Bei Fong.  She has these amazing powers, and she feels like that's all she's got, so she has to think that's the most important thing, or she'll feel small and afraid again."  He sighed and copied Lin's stance.  "She used to say she felt bad for everybody who can't see with their feet, the same way people felt bad for her because she couldn't see with her eyes."

"But I can see with my eyes and with my feet," Lin pointed out.

"And nobody will ever pity you," Sokka assured her.  "Now, I want you to block this punch, and I'll try to get around the block."

Lin snorted weakly, aping her mother's bravado.  "Yeah, you'll try."


attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-03-09 10:33 pm

350 word drabble: Blood, Water, and Fire

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #72, Patience.

Summary: Azula has taught her to see the world as she does, as a collection of weaknesses.

Blood, Water, and Fire

He was such a tiny, soft, helpless thing, a living spot of weakness, that stood out bright and unavoidable to any enemy of any member of her family.  As he lay there in the arms of some gawky boy her age, Mai stood tall. "You brought my brother?"

"He's here. We're ready to trade."  A wide-eyed boy in a hat stood in front, hugging his staff to his side.  It was strange, Mai thought, that she hadn't noticed him until he started to talk.  What else was she missing, she had to ask, that she just couldn't make herself notice with her little piece of weakness in the arms of a stranger.

There was a girl there too, and a blue sky, and the planks of the scaffolding creaked under her feet.  She could feel King Bumi's eyes on the back of her neck.

Azula turned to her, Azula who wasn't a stranger.  "I'm sorry, but a thought just occurred to me. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, Princess Azula," Mai intoned.

"We're trading a two year old for a king," she smirked, and Mai wondered if she understood anything about weaknesses except as something to exploit.  "A powerful, earthbending king."

King Bumi hummed an affirmative, and Mai wished she could ask him, please, just please pretend like you wouldn't be dangerous.

"It just doesn't seem like a fair trade, does it?"  Azula smiled at her like she was thinking the same way.

Her brother was in the arms of a teenage boy who was playing finger games with him whenever he didn't think anybody was looking, a boy who was a stranger when Azula was not.

"You're right," Mai said without inflection.  "The deal's off."

After the battle was over, and her brother back home with the parents who had left him alone to be kidnapped, or just walk away, as she had so many times as a child, Mai convinced herself Azula never would have hurt him just for being a weakness.  But Azula was always going to be so strange to her, even if she knew her.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-02-22 08:11 am

350 word drabble: Esteem

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #71, Equal.

Summary: Azula has learned from her brother's mistakes.  Companion to Words Lying Dead in Him.

Esteem

"I think you should take their precious hope  and the rest of their land, and burn it all to the ground."  She hoped Zuko was listening.

"Yes... Yes, you're right, Azula."  Her father said softly, and Azula felt herself beaming inside, but only the smallest sliver of a smile showed through.  "Sozin's Comet is almost upon us and on that day it will endow us with the strength and power of a hundred Suns.  No bender will stand a chance against us."

"What are you suggesting, sir?" one of the generals asked cautiously, and for once, Azula was glad someone had asked, so that she would learn the answer, and no one would ever know she hadn't guessed.

Her father stood up and left his throne for the map at the foot of the dais.  "When the comet last came, my grandfather, Fire Lord Sozin, used it to wipe out the Air Nomads.  Now, I will use its power to end the Earth Kingdom."  He smiled and stepped out onto the map, his robes swishing against the continents and tiny army figurines.  And Azula's heart dropped like a stone.  "Permanently.  From our airships, we will rain fire over their lands, a fire that will destroy everything.  And out of the ashes, a new world will be born, a world in which all the lands are Fire Nation and I am the supreme ruler of everything!"

As the generals clapped and cheered, the best and brightest that her father could find to surround himself with, Azula smiled, and kept smiling as she felt herself made small, as small as her brother on the other side of the throne, and felt his words caught in her own throat, "Well, that's not exactly what I..."

He thought she had meant it literally.  He thought she was brilliant and clever, wise beyond her years, and worthy of him, so she smiled, and knew she could never let him see through.  Out of the corner of her eye, she looked at her brother, at his face, and the price of failure to hide the cracks.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-02-10 04:32 pm

300 word drabble: The Shadow of Inaction

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #70, Chakra.

Summary: There is no Avatar that has not felt the icy touch of failure.

The Shadow of Inaction

The hand that held the paintbrush didn't shake, as steady as the earth beneath her.  Kyoshi's mirror was a rock in her hand.  The face she painted onto herself was still as stone.

Three days ago she had changed the very shape of the earth itself.  She had made an island, a new born land torn from the edge of another.  She had felt down to the depths of the earth and touched the fires that burned within.  She had seen the slabs of stone that fit over the earth's brightly burning core like a child's puzzle and ripped out a new piece.  In her very body, she had felt the slow shift of the earth, and forced the earth to roar.  The fires of the earth had bubbled up.  She had quenched them.  The ground had quaked.  She had quelled it.  There was a man who had fallen to his death at the bottom of the new-made cliff, and she had done nothing about that.

The black line of coal she painted over her eyebrow sat above the red like a shadow.  There was a man who had died who should have died a long time ago before his shadow had spread over the Earth Kingdom.  It was the Avatar's duty to care about the whole world, not only her home.  She could remake the world.  She had.  She just hadn't bothered before.

No matter how hard she looked, her eyes didn't glow, and the shame that clenched at her made her wonder, afraid, if she had so failed her duty that the universe itself had taken it away.

She couldn't feel the world around her, only the earth under her feet, the air she breathed, the sunlight from the window, and the water in the ocean beside her.


attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-01-27 06:56 pm

300 word drabble: All the Patterns of the World

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #69, Temple.

Summary: They have grown, and they will make their home grow to fit them.  Sequel to Ice Cold Change

All the Patterns of the World

The shadowed recesses of the shrine made the numbers on her measuring tape hard to read.  "Come on, Sokka, bring the lantern over here."

"Can you hurry it up a little?  They're giving us funny looks."  As Sokka held the lantern up for his sister, the northern Water Sages stood gathered together in the middle of the shrine, faces set in severe expressions.

"It was your idea to do this," she shot back, scribbling down the measurement on her scroll.  "I told you I could build a temple just fine without it, but no, you wanted to see how everybody else in the world made them."

"Hey, you were the one who said you liked the swirly things they had at the temple in Omashu."  The lantern bounced with every gesture her brother made.

Letting her brush drop, Katara put her face in her hand and rubbed her forehead.  "Look, I'm sorry if I'm a little crabby, but-"  As she picked the brush back up and turned to him, Sokka tried to stifle a snicker behind his hand.  Katara's mouth twisted when she saw the ink on her hand.  "No."  She touched her forehead and cheek where the ink had smeared.  "No, you don't get to laugh at me right now."

But that just turned his snicker into a fit of giggles.  Glaring, Katara bent the ink at him.  "Hey!" he yelped, dodging.

"This is a holy shrine," one of the Water Sages moaned, unable to contain himself any longer.  "A place of peace!"

"Well, I've got everything I need anyway," Katara said waspishly.  "Let's go Sokka, this better be worth it."

He smiled.  "Don't worry sis, the temple you build will be better than all of them."

She gave him a warm smile before smearing ink onto his cheek.


attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
2013-01-12 10:43 pm

200 word drabble: Ice Cold Change

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #68, Revisit.

Summary: It feels too small around her, like her little girl's clothes.

Ice Cold Change

Her braid just felt right hanging from the back of her head.  Her parka felt the way clothing was supposed to feel.  The air on her face, the bight of the wind, the shining white ice all around her, all of it whispered home to her.

Katara stood in the middle of the village, in the middle of the tents and undersized huts, the tiny circle of home, run down, small and too tight around her.

Aang, she knew, could never go home.  Toph she knew, wouldn't go home.  She wondered if Zuko felt this way back in the Fire Nation, or if being Firelord was big enough for him.  She wondered if Sokka and Suki felt this way, on little Kyoshi Island, surrounded by people who had never left home.

But so many people here had left home.  The South Pole was full of people who had seen the world. 

It used to be that this was the world, it used to be that when her father left, he left her world completely.  It used to be that the empty space around them felt so big.

She ran to Gran-Gran's tent.  "Master Pakku, can you get your students together?"

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Lin Bei Fong MWT quote)
2012-12-16 06:59 am

200 word drabble: Bright Lights, Big City

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #67, World.

Summary: She's starting to think she never should have left home.

Bright Lights, Big City

Korra hugged her knees and stared out the window, listening to the wind hissing through the tree branches.  The radio sat off on a shelf above her, silent and foreboding.  It seemed like every time she turned it on, Amon's voice billowed out.

She was starting to wish she had never left the South Pole.  Growing up there, nothing had ever scared her, not like this.  She had never doubted that someday, she was going to be the Avatar the world needed, one of the greats, as great as Aang or greater.

And now, even Tenzin was starting to notice, and Tarrlok was throwing a party in her honor.  There was no getting away from it, and all she wanted was the ice and isolation of home, the simplicity of training with the Order of the White Lotus, and her old confidence in herself.

She had still seen so little of the world, just one city in one country.  There could be more little wars, and more Amons all over the world, and she wouldn't know it yet.  If Republic City was too much for her to handle, how was she ever going to keep the whole world in balance?

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Lin Bei Fong MWT quote)
2012-12-01 11:06 pm

200 word drabble: Frozen as Stone

Written for [livejournal.com profile] avatar_500 prompt #66, Regret.

Summary: Earth is the element of substance, not of change.

Frozen as Stone

When they had been kids, it had been all of them, Tenzin and his siblings, Sokka's kids, Zuko's kids... and Lin.  And never for a moment had she thought that someday that could change.

As Tenzin left with the Avatar, the paperwork on Lin's desk seemed so unimportant, and so distant from her.  They had been friends long before they had ever started dating, she remembered, and just because she wasn't sleeping with him anymore didn't mean she wasn't one of their own.  Just because he had left her for some fresh faced university student didn't mean she didn't belong.  But she had left, and that might just mean she never had belonged.

She sat at her desk and inked her brush scowling at the paperwork under her hand.  She missed it, like she didn't miss Tenzin.  She missed it like she missed being a child on her mother's knee.  But she had left, and the way it would be was set, and her ways were set, and she wasn't going to go crawling back.

So she was trapped outside, and it was always easier to leave than to go back, and it wasn't going to change again for her.