350 word drabble: Esteem

[attackfish]

Written for avatar_500 prompt #71, Equal.

Summary: Azula has learned from her brother's mistakes.  Companion to Words Lying Dead in Him.

Esteem

"I think you should take their precious hope  and the rest of their land, and burn it all to the ground."  She hoped Zuko was listening.

"Yes... Yes, you're right, Azula."  Her father said softly, and Azula felt herself beaming inside, but only the smallest sliver of a smile showed through.  "Sozin's Comet is almost upon us and on that day it will endow us with the strength and power of a hundred Suns.  No bender will stand a chance against us."

"What are you suggesting, sir?" one of the generals asked cautiously, and for once, Azula was glad someone had asked, so that she would learn the answer, and no one would ever know she hadn't guessed.

Her father stood up and left his throne for the map at the foot of the dais.  "When the comet last came, my grandfather, Fire Lord Sozin, used it to wipe out the Air Nomads.  Now, I will use its power to end the Earth Kingdom."  He smiled and stepped out onto the map, his robes swishing against the continents and tiny army figurines.  And Azula's heart dropped like a stone.  "Permanently.  From our airships, we will rain fire over their lands, a fire that will destroy everything.  And out of the ashes, a new world will be born, a world in which all the lands are Fire Nation and I am the supreme ruler of everything!"

As the generals clapped and cheered, the best and brightest that her father could find to surround himself with, Azula smiled, and kept smiling as she felt herself made small, as small as her brother on the other side of the throne, and felt his words caught in her own throat, "Well, that's not exactly what I..."

He thought she had meant it literally.  He thought she was brilliant and clever, wise beyond her years, and worthy of him, so she smiled, and knew she could never let him see through.  Out of the corner of her eye, she looked at her brother, at his face, and the price of failure to hide the cracks.

Comments

[rj_anderson]

I just watched this episode last night, so these fics could not have been more timely. Really intriguing take on Azula, and very well written.

[attackfish]

Thank you! I've noticed people tend to take an either/or position with Azula. Either she's a sociopath, or she's a poor misunderstood, mistreated child. They're not mutually exclusive. She can be a horrible evil human being and also a victim of abuse, and she can even be a horrible evil human being who is the victim of abuse without the abuse causing the horrible evil human being part.

[rj_anderson]

Yes, indeed. I find Azula a very intriguing and complex character, and I think this fic does a good job of reflecting that.

[attackfish]

Thank you! She has such a twisty mind.

[chordatesrock.livejournal.com]

There are new prompts? I was under the impression that there were only seventy of them. Where can I find the list of new prompts?

Additionally, why are you already posting this? There isn't even voting for the last prompt yet, and I notice there is no notification of a new prompt in the community.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Prompt 70 hasn't ended yet, prompt 71 hasn't begun yet, I just have OCD and will do all kinds of ridiculous things to prompt on every day of the week each month, and I used up most of the days already.

The list of prompts from 71-100 can be found here: http://avatar-500.livejournal.com/190607.html I am unable to edit the previous list of prompts because the previous mod made it.

[chordatesrock.livejournal.com]

I see. Thank you. :) That makes much more sense.

And, on the topic of the fic you posted, it's a very interesting take on Azula. I never thought about her feeling that way, but it is a possibility.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I have to think that Azula was deeply insecure, or she wouldn't have broken the way she did. In other words, she's a nasty horrible piece of work (and I tried to keep that clear here, not sure if I managed) and a victim of her father's abuse.

[lalunatique.livejournal.com]

That's a neat flip of perception that Azula was just being her grandiose/clever self and Ozai made an entire genocidal program out of it. And I find myself in agreement with your take on Azula, as I took a similar standpoint when I wrote her watching the Agni Kai. Great writing especially in the last two paragraphs, with Zuko's words caught in Azula's throat and her using Zuko to hide the cracks in herself.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I feel bad for Azula, I really do. As much as I think she's a sociopathic nightmare, I know she must have lived every waking moment terrified that she wouldn't be good enough, because everything Ozai does to abuse Zuko, is also abusive to Azula, because she knows she's a heartbeat away from being her brother...

Which doesn't mean I think she's any less of a sociopath, which I tried to show here. She isn't upset because her father wants to burn down a continent, she's upset because her father might realize it's not her idea. Wow.

[wolfs-lament.livejournal.com]

I have to admit on the first reading of this I was a bit confused because I thought she was sickened by her father's idea, though reading it again made me realise she was afraid Ozai would figure out that wasn't her plan. I like that you've made the distinction in Azula: that she cares very much about her own self-preservation (which I don't fault at all) and little about the Earth Kingdom people who are going to be wiped out.

I don't know if this was intended, but this also feels like foreshadowing what I can only assume will soon become a crumbling relationship between Ozai and Azula, after Zuko admits that she was the one who failed to kill Aang.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

It was a hard distinction to make in story.

Oh yes, I assume that when he finds out Azula dared lie to him, and also that she failed, their relationship definitely sours in ways that Azula has been terrified of forever.