350 word drabble: Spirals within Spirals
Oct. 11th, 2011 12:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
attackfish Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
avatar_500 prompt #36, Red.
Summary: After the Fire Nation falls, Azula tries to stay Azula.
Author's note: This is part of that mirrorverse I've been playing with in the commentfic memes, with eldritch abomination Aang. If you want to read it, click on the "meme" tag and all of the parts are conveniently linked in the body of the commentfic meme entries. There are also two drabbles, Fight and Flight and Stay his Hand
Spirals Within Spirals
They cut her nails so that she wouldn't dig them into her arms and stain the floor with blood. She dug them as deep into herself as they would go anyway. The room had bars on its only window, even though she wasn't a threat to them anymore.
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
The loud, omnipresent silence reverberates inside her head.
She can see her father leaving to fight the Avatar, to meet him before he could use the comet. She can see him leaving her to defend their home, and the way he cupped her face and hugged her close for the last time.
And Zuko came, and she lost, lost because she cracked up.
Crazy, crazy, CRAZY!
It was her fault. She cracked up.
NononononononnnNO!
Father lost too, sometimes her mind let her remember. The Avatar killed him, left him battered and broken to drown in the ocean below.
And her whole life, she had known about the Avatar, and the corruption he brought, about the times the world had only just been saved, about how she would have to guard herself, to be vigilant against the cruelty that would creep across her mind. Her brother was weak, and he had crumpled, but she was strong, she was moral, she was good.
Failure, weak, pathetic.
The Avatar was back, and Azula had felt the worry, but somewhere, somewhere deep she didn't want to acknowledge, she was... It was their turn! Their world to protect. And they lost.
They...
lost...
it.
Her mind won't wrap around it. It's real, it's true, it's irrefutable, and it won't sink in. She wonders how long it will take for the sky to grow dark and the seas to start burning.
There's nothing left to trust. Not her father who was dead, not her brother who... Not her own mind. Her own mind. Her own mind. HER OWN MIND, SPIRITS DAMN IT! It's split open. It's like she can't keep it inside her head. And the Avatar's corruption comes creeping in. She sits there, digs her nails in, and waits for a little extra madness.
avatar_500 prompt #36, Red.Summary: After the Fire Nation falls, Azula tries to stay Azula.
Author's note: This is part of that mirrorverse I've been playing with in the commentfic memes, with eldritch abomination Aang. If you want to read it, click on the "meme" tag and all of the parts are conveniently linked in the body of the commentfic meme entries. There are also two drabbles, Fight and Flight and Stay his Hand
Spirals Within Spirals
They cut her nails so that she wouldn't dig them into her arms and stain the floor with blood. She dug them as deep into herself as they would go anyway. The room had bars on its only window, even though she wasn't a threat to them anymore.
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
The loud, omnipresent silence reverberates inside her head.
She can see her father leaving to fight the Avatar, to meet him before he could use the comet. She can see him leaving her to defend their home, and the way he cupped her face and hugged her close for the last time.
And Zuko came, and she lost, lost because she cracked up.
Crazy, crazy, CRAZY!
It was her fault. She cracked up.
NononononononnnNO!
Father lost too, sometimes her mind let her remember. The Avatar killed him, left him battered and broken to drown in the ocean below.
And her whole life, she had known about the Avatar, and the corruption he brought, about the times the world had only just been saved, about how she would have to guard herself, to be vigilant against the cruelty that would creep across her mind. Her brother was weak, and he had crumpled, but she was strong, she was moral, she was good.
Failure, weak, pathetic.
The Avatar was back, and Azula had felt the worry, but somewhere, somewhere deep she didn't want to acknowledge, she was... It was their turn! Their world to protect. And they lost.
They...
lost...
it.
Her mind won't wrap around it. It's real, it's true, it's irrefutable, and it won't sink in. She wonders how long it will take for the sky to grow dark and the seas to start burning.
There's nothing left to trust. Not her father who was dead, not her brother who... Not her own mind. Her own mind. Her own mind. HER OWN MIND, SPIRITS DAMN IT! It's split open. It's like she can't keep it inside her head. And the Avatar's corruption comes creeping in. She sits there, digs her nails in, and waits for a little extra madness.
