attackfish: Jet and Zuko fighting in the teashop, text "Obviously this is the place to come if you want to get murdered by lunatics" (Jet Juko TDL quote)
So during an *ahem* discussion of Azula and her abusiveness, I realized I have never sat down and written a comprehensive version of my particular theory of Azula's breakdown. I've talked about it in comment threads a lot, but I have never dedicated a post to it. So in response to a user on Tumblr who blogs under the name fireroyals, I wrote it up. I figured I should probably post it here The discussion this post is in reply to can be found at my tumblr [link].

The Three Pillars Theory of Azula, or Ozai is Horrible, Azula is Scary (but also Scared), and I Will Hurt Anybody Who Claims Mai and Ty Lee Betrayed Azula )
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
For those of you who wanted to know, the Holocaust menorah remained safely hidden away.  Mom seems to have forgotten about it, probably because I cut off the tip of my finger (not as bad as it sounds but there will be a scar) mom set fire to the oven, and I had a seizure, and then word came in that my dad's good friend, who has been a good friend to the whole family finally succumbed to his lung disease and passed away on the 26th.  My mom and dad drove to Albuquerque so my dad could give the eulogy.  So on the plus side, I tossed the horrible menorah in the trash, on the minus... everything else.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Once upon a time, back when my mother had newly converted, and we were still attempting to accumulate all the judaica we needed to set up a ceremonially functioning Jewish household, my mother bought this beautiful menorah. No, seriously, it was gorgeous, very aesthetically pleasing, unfortunately. Each candle is held by a replica of a synagogue destroyed by the Nazis.

Now the last thing I want to think about during one of the few almost unshadowed holidays Judaism has is the Shoah. Really, no. This menorah became legendary among my Jewish friends in high school, in a sort of "Oh how was your Hanukkah?" "Well, my mom brought out the Holocaust menorah again," kind of way. The sociologist in me wants to say that I bonded with my fellow Jewish kids, and affirmed my Jewishness by talking anout having the kind of quirky Jewish mother who had a Holocaust menorah. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's what I'm doing now.

Anyway, ever since my mother bought the thing, I've been plotting its demise. First I tried to reason with Mom, by explaining to her just how horrifying it is, but sadly, she has remained intractable. In addition, each year, I have attempted to replace the Holocaust menorah, including one year when I made a confection of copper and brass wire that I still consider the single best example of my wirework. [link] That thing nearly killed me, literally, as I developed an asthmatic reaction to copper while making it, and really, that should have been enough right? No. Mom loves it. She says it's too pretty to use, she doesn't want to ruin it.

So at that point, grinding my teeth, I was almost ready to conceed defeat. But not quite. Sadly my grandmother caught me trying to lose it during the move, but I have other similarly ethically dubious tricks up my sleeve. This year I may or may not have hidden the Holocaust menorah in an undisclosed location, and while my mother is out of town visiting her father, put up every single other menorah we have, which given that I tried for ten years to replace my mother's inexplicably beloved Holocaust menorah, is kind of a lot of menorahs. I think I've done it this time. We'll find out when Mom comes home Friday. Wish me luck.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Darren Wilson murdered a young man, and the fine citizans of this country can't even get their heads out of their backsides long enough to indict?  Why do things like this keep surprising me?  Michael Brown's family deserves some measure of justice, and the prospect of them getting any has become just that much more remote.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
My cousin, specifically my father's sister's daughter, got her mitochondrial DNA tested for heritage markers, and it came back that she was of German Jewish extraction, through her mother's mother's mother, etc., which makes me of German Jewish descent through my father's mother as well.  This doesn't surprise me in the least, since I have certain genetic issues much more common among Ashkenazi Jews that don't show up on my mom's side, but I thought it was through my father's mother's father, not her mother.

I'm delighted to have proof however, not because I'm glad to know I have more Jewish heritage (being Jewish isn't exactly something I feel insecure about), but because my paternal grandmother was a horrible, abusive woman who gave her children and grandchildren deep, lifelong emotional scars, and the only reason I was spared the same was because my dad cut off contact with her after she went after my sister.  Anyway, she was also deeply anti-Semitic, and it gives me a rush of spiteful pleasure to know she's of Jewish descent, and I only wish she could have known before she died.  I hope she's rolling in her grave.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I am officially out of voluntary quarantine and no longer contagious!  Yay for antibiotics!
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
They make things like this:

My mom's dog Suzy with a goblet on her but in a shallow parody of a certain Kardashian.

Explains a lot about me, really.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I just did field experience in an elementary school that had it going around (thank you anti-vaxxers) and I had never completed my vaccination schedule for it since I reacted so badly to the first shot, and I have all the right symptoms.  I feel miserable and gross, and have an appointment with my NP this afternoon for final diagnosis.  I'm coughing until I can't breathe, and I think everybody should pamper me and write me fic, you know, to keep my spirits up.

Also, I'm probably never going to get to see my baby niece again.  Damn it.  Good thing is, I've been staying away from her because I was worried I'd pick something up during field experiece. Turns out I did.

EDIT: Diagnosis confirmed.  I have whooping cough.  Big whoop.
attackfish: Discretion prevented me from saying that I thought she was a fiend from the underworld (Lin Bei Fong MWT quote)
Trauma in modern American media is a tricky thing. On one hand, the backstories of nearly everyone, heroes and villains alike are full of it. On the other, trauma is heavily shamed, and leaves characters open to accusations of weakness, or of being whiny. This means that while we want characters who go through traumatic experiences, we are extremely uncomfortable with expressions of trauma. Also, we are much more comfortable with some expressions of trauma than with others. Only certain kinds of traumatic expression are allowed, and like so much about culture, who and what a character is determines what kind of traumatic expression we as a society will allow them to have. Straight white men are given the most freedom to be traumatized, and stereotypically masculine trauma is the most widely viewed as legitimate within fandom in my experience. A character who was in battle and suffers symptoms of PTSD for example is much less likely to be called weak than a character recovering from an abusive relationship who has the same symptoms. A character who lashes out is much less likely to be considered weak than one who breaks down crying. A character who reacts with anger is seen as stronger than one who reacts with fear. There are very few roles for the traumatized woman or girl in American media. Traumatized women can be broken damsels in need of rescuing, but then once the danger is past, the damsel either recovers quickly, or disappears. They can be villains, who use their trauma as an excuse to hurt others, or they can... well. This isn't to say that portrayals of men coping with trauma are all that great either. For all there are so many more of them, they are usually not especially nuanced, though of course some are.

This is why I was so amazed and grateful when I saw Avatar: the Last Airbender for the first time, and why Frozen struck such a chord with me as a woman dealing with childhood trauma. Now, in Book Four of Legend of Korra, the narrative is once again giving a female character, this time its heroine, Korra, the space and the right to be traumatized. )
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)

I am not fasting for Yom Kippur due to my chronic illness (funny story, I mentioned the possibility of Yom Kippur fasting once to my doctor, and she started muttering about obviously suicidal patients), and this year, Mom’s joining me in not-fasting for the first time due to recuperating from the lung disease, and I would love it if anyone has any thoughts as to other ways the two of us can observe Yom Kippur without fasting, aside from the contemplation and seeking to right wrongs, and donating to the food bank, especially since Mom is still too ill to attend the longer service.

Also, I hope all of you who are fasting have a quick and easy fast.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
For anyone concerned after I mentioned the threat against my synagogue, the FBI figured  out who made  it, and it turns out it wasn't a threat.  The person who made it has a mental illness that features hallucinations, and they had a vision of the temple being attacked, and called to warn us.  Since this person is well meaning, and severely mentally ill, no charges are being filed, and hopefully, the person involved will be able to get the treatment they need.  Anyway, this means I will be going to Erev Yom Kippur services this year, though the full Yom Kippur service is still too much for Mom's health. She's  doing very well, by the way, and recovering from the lung disease with very little scarring, but she still thought it  best we pick the shorter service.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I know I should have made a Rosh Hashana post earlier, but first services were canceled Wednesday because an  anonymous someone made threats against the temple, and the FBI had to be called, so I went to class instead,which was canceled because my teacher's husband was in the hospital, and the school email was down, so I didn't find out until I showed up.   Then I got home and sprained my ankle taking the dogs out.  At that point, I was kind of feeling like "And happy blankity blank new year to you too, universe!"  Thursday, I had a  bunch of appointments and a sick dog, and Friday I had a seizure, which I spent  yesterday recovering from.

But anyway, L'Shana Tova, everyone, may the new year be sweet, and to those of you who aren't Jewish, Nyah nyah, no new year for you.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
[personal profile] sholio wrote an essay just recently about why Steve/Bucky AUs don't work for her (the AU part, not the Steve/Bucky part) and quite apart from the contents of the essay, it got me wondering about what we call AUs in fandom currently.  Back when I got started, *crotchety old fan voice* things like high school AUs and coffee shop AUs were called "ARs", or Alternate Reality fics whereas  "AU" referred more broadly to both ARs and also "what if" stories.  However, [personal profile] sholio only talked about AR-style AUs, and a number of her points don't really work for what if AUs.  A while back, I ran an Avatar: the Last Airbender AU meme, and after getting almost exclusively AR prompts (and most of those for fusions) I had to explain that what if prompts were definitely also accepted.  I periodically see meta about how the writer of said meta doesn't think AUs are enough like canon, then goes on to describe only AR-style AUs.

Did the meaning of AU narrow  and I didn't realize it? I would kind of like to know, most of what I write other than drabbles are what-ifs.  What if Lupin bit Snape when they were in school, what if Azula captured Zuko at the beginning of  "The Southern Raiders," what if Iroh died when he drank white jade tea. The story I'm working on right now is a what if: what if those Earth Kingdom soldiers in Book One had managed to capture Iroh and Zuko and take them to Ba Sing Se.  If these aren't AUs, I kind of would like to know what to call them.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Not only did I wake up this morning and it was hot again, but also my oxygen concentrator is on the fritz and I have to send it to a repair shop in Tennessee.  I know this of course because I needed it.  Fortunately, it concentrated oxygen just fine for me, but it has a problem detecting my breathing, and it beeped at me constantly, which was not conducive to sleeping or reading, or thinking about anything.  So I have to arrange temporary oxygen now, for while it's gone.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
It's gray, drizzling, and cool outside, and I just turned a bunch of chicken bones, a head of celery, two lemons, three cups of wild rice, a bunch of parsley, two onions, and five pounds of chicken into ten servings of fantastic soup. Fall is finally here, and it's not allowed to leave.
attackfish: Ron, drinking "felix felicis" while Harry watches, text "Always be specific when you lie" (Harry and Ron Rule 7)
Thank you for reminding me why I haven't tried to finish those two WIPs I have in the Harry Potter fandom.

At the risk of sounding too much like a Precious Princess, especially after I started Children of Mars, I attracted a lot of virulent partisans who slammed me every time I posted anything, because they didn't like the way I portrayed their special favorite baby.  One of the reasons I stopped writing Harry Potter fanfic was I was just tired of dealing with it.  I had to delete so many anonymous comments full of profanity and slurs that posting a new fic or a new chapter was something I dreaded instead of looked forward to.  Every so often, I get comments on my old Harry Potter fics, and most of  those comments are absolutely lovely and can brighten up my whole day, but sometimes they're that same old nastiness.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I am too sickened to say much about the pseudo-military police occupation in Ferguson Missouri, except that I would love to know who the police think they are serving and protecting with their tear gas, assault rifles, and armored vehicles.  The only thing I can see being protected is their own power, and their own supposed "right" to murder young black men by shooting them in the back.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Look at it!

It's been two and a half weeks since the last picture.  This tree's just going wild.


Aug. 10th, 2014 11:55 pm
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I'm home now,and I've gotten to meet my nice, and hold my niece, and she is the cutest little nub in the history of little nubs, and if I'm not careful, this blog will become the "my niece is wonderful!!!!!" blog.  She woke up and blinked at me and snuffled at me, and when I rubbed her little arm, she sighed.


Aug. 8th, 2014 09:42 am
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I have a niece!  She was born late in the evening two nights ago on the 6th of August, to my brother and his wife.  She topped out at eight whole pounds and nineteen inches long!  She made her poor mother endure almost twenty-four hours of labor, and when she came out, her face was all swollen.  Her huge cheeks made her look like a little bitty old lady queen Victoria.  The swelling is going down now, and we're finally getting to see what she looks like.

And of course, I'm stuck at my doctor's in California, so I don't get to meet her until Sunday. Until then, I am relying on the pictures my sister-in-law has been sending us.  My favorite one is of her mama holding her, and she's yawning.  I love her little yawn.

Anyway, if you can't tell, I'm smitten.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Back in New Mexico, my family used to rescue dogs.  We lived out in an area where people would go to dump their dogs, and we would find them, take them in, and find homes for them, or most of them anyway, since Amy and Solo ended up becoming ours.  It was all very informal.  This isn’t something we do anymore, since we’ve actually not run across any stray dogs that we haven’t been able to find their owners since we moved to Alabama, much to my father’s relief.

A couple of weeks ago, my grandmother was driving past a construction site when she spotted a beautiful little wild mimosa tree that was slated to be bulldozed.  She asked the foreman if she could dig it up and take it home, and he gave her the okay.  Our yard man agreed to pick it up for us, and the next day, he went out to get it.  Well, when he dug out around it, he discovered that its roots were wrapped around concrete, and he had to cut most of them of to pry it free.  There was only this little stub of root material, and he never would have done it if the tree weren’t going to die anyway.

So he brings it over to our house, and plants it, and immediately, all of the leaves on it shrivel up, die, and fall off.  The yard man says he gives it maybe a ten percent chance of surviving.  The outer branches started to go brown, and it looked like he was right, and there was no way that tree was going to survive.

Then last week, the buds started to appear.  And they grew, and grew, and grew, and now look at it:

This little sucker is actually going to make it.

Anyway, back when it was still this bare stick my grandmother had insisted on sticking in the ground, she told the whole story about seeing it and rescuing it from being bulldozed, the poor thing.  My dad took one look at it, sighed, and said, “And here we have the start of the North Alabama Tree Rescue...”
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
So in less than twenty four hours, new Legend of Korra episodes will be on the actual TV for what may be the last time in forever.  Unlike a fair bit of this fandom, I don't think even a massive raise in ratings for these last two episodes will change Nickelodeon's mind about moving to an all digital release.  I think that the Nick execs made up their mind that Korra couldn't succeed, and so provided it with none of the tools necessary to make it succeed, and I also think that at this point, they would be able to talk themselves out of recognizing even massive success.  So I am not going to plead with my followers to watch, but I for one would kind of like this franchise's TV run to end with a bang rather than a whimper.

Also, I'm jealous, because I'm stuck at home finishing up the summer semester, instead of at Comic Con with all the cool kids.
attackfish: Discretion prevented me from saying that I thought she was a fiend from the underworld (Lin Bei Fong MWT quote)
One of the things I loved best about Avatar: the Last Airbender is that it faced head on issues that few other shows, for adults or children, were willing to touch.  Stories are how we learn to shape our own views of the world, and Avatar: the last Airbender did this with such a frankness, emotional honesty, and critical imagination that I ate it up with a spoon as eagerly as any child in the intended audience.  This is why I was so disappointed with  the first two books of The Legend of Korra, and also why I am so hopeful after seeing the premier of Book Three: Change.

Cut for All The Spoilers, and I'm also starting to think I need a Jewish tag )
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
What follows is almost completely spoiler free.

In all the awesome that is the new season of The Legend of Korra (and after all the problems with Books One and Two, it’s good to have that awesomeness back) I feel kind of like an ungrateful jerk for complaining about anything, but I do have a minor quibble: the Earth Queen’s allergies.  I’m getting a little sick (no pun intended) of seeing my disability played for laughs, and used to make the suffer look like a buffoon.  There’s a part of me that’s just glad that there isn’t any suggestion that the Earth Queen is faking her allergies, and in fact we get to see her allergies know Pabu’s around, even when he is hidden away.  But I don’t like the way my disability only ever seems to show up as the butt of a joke.  Also, lot’s of nice people who love animals are very allergic to them and have to avoid them because of it, like me with my birds, which I had to give up because allergies to them almost killed me and my mother.

tl:dr The Avatar franchise is usually so good with disability, why aren’t they good with mine?
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
My father has a sizable and very fine American Indian pottery collection that he collected during the eight years we lived in New Mexico from local artists.  He purchased many of these pots in person from the artists themselves, and this collection is his pride and joy.  Yesterday, one of the shelves in his office tore its way out of the wall and came crashing down, taking almost a third of his collection down with it, including two of his finest pieces, one of which was a gift from my mother for their twenty fifth anniversary, and very special to them both.  I found him yesterday picking up the shards, crying in a way I had never seen him cry over anything that wasn't a death in the family.

However, all of us, my father included, are grateful it fell when it did, because I rushed downstairs thinking Amy, our elderly Chow/Akita mix had fallen, and when I couldn't find her inside, I went outside, where I found out that she had fallen, down the stairs that lead up to the porch.  Mom forgot to tell me she was outside when she left, and in this weather, Amy could have gotten heat stroke very easily, and died.  Because of the falling shelf, I got out to her in time, was able to cool her down with a wet towel and plenty of water, was able to call the vet and my parents, and got her leg, injured in the fall, checked out and treated quickly.

Amy is my dad's baby.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
So after Book One, and it's frustrating habit of almost going to cool places, and Book Two, and the way it seriously angered me, and went nowere near any of the interesting stuff from the first book, and was fuzzy on villain motive, and had unacknowledged abuse and assault issues, and yeah, Book Three, if the premier is anything to go by is shaping up to be awesome.  I mean really!  It's going good places so far!  Who knew?  And it's a good thing, because I still really care about these characters.  My emotions, people!

But it serves me right  for watching it on livestream.  Some creepy 4chan types put homemade Korra/Amon rape porn over the commercials, and I had to find a new stream right in the middle, because fuck no.

Comments should be presumed spoilery.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
So I got an assignment to critique a certain movie and analyze what it says about teaching, and because I am who I am, I few into a little bit of a panic, you know, the "oh my God, oh my God, how do I do this?  I have no idea how to do this!" kind of thing.   And then I just gave myself a long look in the mirror and said to myself, "Honey, you're in fandom.  This is what you do."

And now it's done, so there.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
These are pacifier holders for my future niece.  They're my present for my sister in law's upcoming baby shower.   You clip them to the baby's clothing, and snap a pacifier into them, and that way they don't fall on the floor all the time and get dirty.  It's been a very long time since I've done any embroidery at all, much less without a pattern, but I like the way the little felt animals came out.  They're double sided, and all the ugly backs of the embroidery are hidden in between the two layers of felt.

Anyway, my sister in law's doing the kid's room in a jungle theme with elephants, I made the aliens for my sister who loves aliens, and the owls for myself, because I've been collecting them since I was nine.  So there's something to represent each of her paternal aunts, and something her mother likes.

Anyone thinking of making your own, remember to keep them six inches or less when finished, otherwise they're a strangulation hazard.

Pacifier Holders by Attackfish on deviantART

Sad News

May. 7th, 2014 08:09 pm
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
We had to give up all of the birds.  My mother and I both developed hypersensitivity pneumonitis, specifically the type called bird fancier's lung.  After it caused my mom to develop pneumonia and almost killed her, and made me unable to go to sleep because I couldn't breathe, we found our birds temporary homes with a reputable rescue that will make every effort to keep the birds that should be together, together.  I have worked with them before.  They do very good work, and my babies are safe with them.

I miss my babies terribly, but it had literally become life and death, and my mother and I were at risk of permanent lung function loss.  I have had birds my entire life, and it really hurts that I will never be able to have birds again.

After we found homes for the birds, we had the entire house cleaned, washed all the sheets, and blankets, and curtains, rented giant hepa filters...  I;m starting to be able to breathe again.  But I still miss my birds.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
It's Passover and everyone at my house is sick, and/or (poor Mom!) neck deep in finals, so we're not doing Seder, and I am studiously ignoring the existence of the Christian Seder t the Von Braun Center tonight, and the plan for tonight is to park myself on the couch with my sick family with my face mask and watch the new Ken Burns documentary about the Gettysburg address, because freedom!

No, seriously, utterly non sarcastically, for freedom.  Passover is about freedom and escape from slavery.  It's a holiday about the world, and social justice, and remembering that although we are free, other people are not.  It's a holiday about freedom for all mankind, and a recommitment to try to free others who are still in bondage or are oppressed, and to not oppress others.   It reminds us of our duty as human beings, that we who have suffered oppression are not so powerless that we cannot oppress others.  It reminds us that we must not use that power to oppress others, that we must look at all the peoples of the world as people, even when we think they are our enemies.  It reminds us how hateful our own oppression was and is to us.

And it reminds us of our duty not to do to others that which is hateful to us.

So I am not performing a single Passover ritual, but I am doing my best to celebrate the spirit of the holiday and observe it in my own way.

Chag Sameach, everyone!
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)

Once again there are three people dead because someone decided they should die for being Jewish or in this case, daring to associate with Jewish people, and part of me is intellectually going over the reasons why there has always been an uptick in anti-Semitic violence around Easter and Passover, for as long as there has been Easter.  Part of me is busy being angry and making sarcastic quips like the title of this post.  Part of me is again reminded that I should be afraid.  But most of me is just so tired of it all, and wondering if it will ever stop.

And that part of me just hurts for the families of the dead.  Zekher kadosh livrakha, May the memory of the holy be a blessing.


Mar. 30th, 2014 09:55 pm
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
When I was in high school, a really close friend killed himself by shooting himself in the head, and for some reason tonight's The Good Wife really brought back a lot of those memories.  I don't really want to talk about it, but if any of you have pictures of kittens, puppies, and baby animals, please send links.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
And after last night's episode, all I can say is

Spoilers )

Anyone want to talk about it?

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
My brother called my parents to announce his engagement.  This was no real surprise to us.  He and his intended are very much in love, and we had all been taking bets on when he was going to get the nerve to ask.  My parents took him out to dinner a few days later, and my mom asked to see the ring.  Well, that engagement ring wasn't alone.  She looked at his wife, and at him, and asked aghast. "Is that a wedding ring?"  Which is how we all learned that the two had eloped.  So then, my dad noticed that my brother's being extra attentive, and my sister went out with my new sister-in-law and noticed she stayed away from alcohol, so when they came over to dinner a few days later, my sister asked her the million dollar question.  Yep, she's pregnant.  She's due in the beginning of August.  So anyway, we just found out the baby's sex, and my brother and his new wife (who is a wonderful woman, and they're crazy about each other) are having a baby girl.  My first niece, I'm so excited!
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
There are billboards up everywhere advertizing a Christian Seder being held at the Von Braun Center.  Yes, let's just appropriate Jewish religion and culture and the act out the deeply sacred traditions of a religious group that has faced thousands of years of persecution at the hands of Christians, and let's do it in a building named after a Nazi!  I think profanity is an entirely appropriate response, no?
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I’ve been wanting to see Rise of the Guardians for a while now, because Rufftoon worked on it, and because of all the cool gif sets on tumblr, so I got it from Netflix.

And I’m not really sure what other people see in it.

Maybe it’s because I never really celebrated Christmas or Easter as a kid, but Rise of the Guardians seems even more culturally specific and alienating to people outside of the culturally Christian European and North American mainstream than the current Hollywood norm.  Two of the guardians are specifically tied to Christian holidays.  Great.  Little kid me would have felt very welcomed.

And then there’s the fact that of the main characters, there are five guardians, Pitch, and a kid.  Of those, all but one of them are male.  One out of seven is pathetic, especially in a movie about people who guard and take care of children.

Plus, I didn’t like the movie’s attitude towards fear.  Fear itself is a protective force.  Yes, it can become toxic and put you in danger, but as anyone who has ever had a manic episode can tell you, so can the “positive” emotions.  Fear protects children.  It helps keep them safe.  I would love to have seen a dark, terrifying, but ultimately good guardian embodying fear, and instead we got the sinister and one note Pitch.

There were things about it I did like.  I liked the animation, I liked Jack’s story and why he was chosen to be a guardian, I liked a lot of the imaginative details, especially he hummingbird themed tooth fairy.  It was fun, it was diverting, but it didn’t do much for me, and I don’t feel the need to rewatch it. *shrug*
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
My dogs, man, my dogs.  The things I do for them.

So last night, we got about five inches of snow, most of it in less than an hour.  It's ten o clock at night, and I round up the five dogs for their last excursion before bed.  It's snowing buckets, freezing, and my boys and Teddy are shivering pathetically in their little sweaters, going, gee it's cold out here, lets do our business and get back inside as quick as we can.  Suzy is doing contortions, trying to pee without touching her lady bits to the snow and cursing her two inch long dachshund legs, and Amy...  Amy, who is supposed to be recovering from pneumonia, that stinker, takes off barreling into the night, singing "LET IT GO, LET IT GO, I AM ONE WITH THE WIND AND SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" And I'm standing there wondering why I decided to wear a bathrobe that only goes down to my knees, shouting at her, "Yeah, the cold never bothered you anyway, but but the rest of us would like to go back inside now, you miserable puffball, so get your fuzzy black chow butt up here!  Yes, I can totally see you there in the snow.  It's white, you're black, you are not hidden."  And then she swaggers back inside and gives me this little smirk.

Anyway, its the day before Valentines day, and only two of the characters from my Valentines Crossover Crack Mix and Match Shipping Meme of Doomy Doom have been guessed.  Go over there and try your luck.

Some days

Feb. 4th, 2014 04:46 pm
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
We were talking about bullies and I listened to my fellow teaching students just not get it in so many kind, well meaning ways.  And then my teacher asked about our own experiences with bullying, and everyone in the class talked.  Most said they had never been bullied, the rest mentioned isolated incidents, and talked about how standing up to the bullies really worked!  And I looked around at this room of earnest faces, and realized none of them had a clue.

Most people want to become teachers because public school was a place of joy for them.  I feel a little alone right now.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
They won't, in case you actually were worried. This is something I made two years ago, and somehow, it got packed away with the holiday decorations for God only knows what reason.

Cut for image size )

I was listening to a lot of The Mamas and the Papas at the time. Yes, most of these are portraits of real people, including myself, my parents, childhood friends, my elementary school band director, Harpo Marx, and Tony Curtis dressed as a woman from Some Like it Hot.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I am now officially wisdom teeth-less, and the marcaine is starting to wear off, so I can feel my face again well enough that I wish I couldn't. The nice thing is, we have tons of mashed potatoes and home made ice cream left over from Dad's birthday, so I don't have to worry about chewing anything, or trying to cook right now.  Anyway, now that Dad's birthday party is over (which is our religiously blended family's compromise present exchange holiday), I can now show off the beautiful craftsmanship on my gift to my sister.

You have to understand, this is the kind of thing my sister likes )

For those of you wondering, some of the local radio stations have been playing Christmas carols since just after Halloween, and listening to the same twenty songs for two months straight is really starting to get to me.  This may or may not have been a contributing factor in my sister's zombie sock baby doll.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
I swear, the next time a Christian tries to compare the Holocaust to the death of Jesus, I may just start screaming.  I mean what the hell?  How is that even a thing you say to someone?  And yes, this is not the first time I have heard this one.   God fucking damn.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Today I made a great big pot of turkey meatball soup.  Before every semester, I make big batches of a few different kinds of soup and freeze them so I have something I can eat for lunch that I’m not allergic to, so I’m not inflicting this stuff on my family, which is a good thing, because I don’t even know if it’s any good, or if the reason I love it so much is pure unmitigated nostalgia.

Perhaps nostalgia isn’t quite the right word, but I don’t know if there is a word for what I feel for turkey meatball soup.  When I was ten, my illness was finally diagnosed, and I began treatment.  At the time, my immune system was in such poor shape that there were only a very small number of foods I could eat, turkey, rice, salt, grapes, spinach, scallions, and oregano.  This became even worse once I became dangerously allergic to grapes.  By the time I could begin to add other foods to my diet, I was so thoroughly sick of all of these foods that I didn’t eat rice for years, for example, and I still hate turkey in every form but gravy, and strangely enough, turkey meatball soup.  I ate it every day for breakfast for more than a year.  When the time came that I didn’t have to eat it anymore, I didn’t even want to look at it.  Then, I years later, I started craving it.  I made it today with no idea what to expect.  I added pearl couscous to make it a little more filling, but other than that, it’s exactly like what I ate every morning, turkey broth, ground turkey, scallions, spinach, and oregano.  And as soon as I took the first bite, it all came rushing back.

In retrospect, it wasn’t a good year for me.  Not only were the foods I could eat limited, but so were their amounts.  Even as my immune system became healthier, the rest of me sickened.  I was constantly hungry.  My hunger drove my mother on the phone to my doctor at least weekly, crying, because she couldn’t feed her child.  Also, I was trying to catch up on ten years worth of social skills overnight, and painfully shy from being bullied at my previous school.    It's no wonder this was the year my first stalker would attach herself to me. 

But this isn’t what I taste when I eat turkey meatball soup.  Turkey meatball soup tastes like sanity.  It tastes like my brain waking up for the very first time.  It tastes like discovering books and trying to read them while I ate on school days before my mother saw them and too them away so I wouldn’t be late.  They taste like getting up early on Saturday mornings to go to the doctor, knowing that I would come home feeling weak and sick, but that there was a book the Rabbi had lent me waiting for my Sunday in bed.  It tastes like Sundays in my bathrobe, with my parents at the table.  It tastes like everything’s going to be okay, and no matter what the problem is, I’ll get through it.  So no, I have no idea if my turkey meatball soup tastes good.  I just know it tastes right.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
All of my vids were taken down from Vimeo for being a violation of copyright, with the stated reason as "Vimeo does not allow TV shows, movie trailers, or stuff you found on the web."  As such, until further notice, my vids are down, and people who host their vids on Vimeo might want to watch out.  I responded, as the email notice of take down stated I was allowed to, with the following:

My vids were not full episodes, trailers (fanmade or otherwise), or any other form of illegal piracy. They were vids, and as such are considered to be fair use transformative works. They are a critical engagement with the source material, in this case, Avatar: the Last Airbender and Legend of Korra. I use them to point out and highlight things about the source material that I like, that I consider problematic, or that I don't think other fans have noticed. For example, in "Azula's Jar of Hearts", I argue that one character, Ty Lee was in an abusive relationship with another character, Azula, and what some fans see as Ty Lee betraying Azula is in fact Ty Lee standing up to her abuser. In "Learn to be Still Korra", I argue that Korra did not learn the lessons in the first season of Legend of Korra that I thought she should have, and that I found her character arc unsatisfying.

Vidding as a form of fair use has been recognized in the United States in a statement by the Librarian of Congress, James H. Billington, on July 26, 2010, ( )in which he said that there were certain classes of works in which it was legal to break DVD description to create, one of which was:

"Motion pictures on DVDs that are lawfully made and acquired and that are protected by the Content Scrambling System when circumvention is accomplished solely in order to accomplish the incorporation of short portions of motion pictures into new works for the purpose of criticism or comment, and where the person engaging in circumvention believes and has reasonable grounds for believing that circumvention is necessary to fulfill the purpose of the use in the following instances:

"(i) Educational uses by college and university professors and by college and university film and media studies students;
"(ii) Documentary filmmaking;
"(iii) Noncommercial videos"

Vidding falls specifically under the third example, and I have already explained how I use the short clips "for the purpose of criticism or comment".

Having read your guidelines, since my works are vids, and not a straight up rip of a TV show, and the clips within them are rearranged, edited, and cut to tell a new story with a new narrative, they do not violate your guidelines, US copyright law, or current international copyright law. Also, your site has already carved out an exception for "Machinima videos with a story" as long as they are labeled as such. Vids are equally a creative fannish endeavor, that use images from a source material in a similar way, and in my view, should be afforded a similar exception.

Please consider returning my vids to your site, or amending your guidelines to make it clear that vids and transformative works like them are not allowed.

Thank you,

attackfish: Discretion prevented me from saying that I thought she was a fiend from the underworld (Lin Bei Fong MWT quote)
Between iTunes’s very strange download schedule for this season of Legend of Korra, registering for classes, and a minor pumpkin related incident (I have pumpkin related incidents about once or twice every year it seems, and they always sound like they should be funny or story worthy, or something, but no.  This time, for example, my brother was going to roast pumpkin seeds, but they went bad, so he threw them out, but he forgot to take out the trash before I came over for my nephews’ birthday party, so I had a seizure in the bathroom and went home after my meds kicked in to sleep it off), I only just got to watch the two hour long second season finale today, and I just can’t!  I can’t even!  In the newfangled internet speak, I am unable to can.

However, in a herculean fannish effort, I rewatched the finale and managed to put some thoughts together here for all of you.  What follows is obviously highly spoilery.

Things I didn’t like: If you’re just here for the squee, feel free to skip this part )

Everything else (don't worry, this list is much longer) )

Well this season has certainly played holy havoc with my spirit and spirit world canons, that’s for sure. *faints with exhaustion.*
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)

And if you're a student at Athens State, drop me a line. Maybe we can get together some time.

attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
A devastating blow has been dealt in the war between my car and the tree beside my driveway.  After more than a year of dropping all kinds of junk on my car, leaves, bird crap, spiky sticky seed pods, the tree decided to up the ante on Sunday and dropped a great big branch onto my windshield, shattering it.  Actually, I’m not sure what my car ever did to the tree to merit this treatment.  It’s a very one-sided war.

Anyway, I had a huge rainstorm, broken, leaking, windshield, and glass all over my car, not to mention a family making jokes about my fourteen year old beat up car being totaled (the branch did $330 in damage.  It wouldn’t take much to total my car, but it would take more than that).  Dad quickly sealed off the hole with polyethylene foam so I wouldn’t get water all over my car, and I spent Monday on the phone with the insurance company trying to get my window fixed.  Turns out something else happened on Sunday, like I don’t know, maybe tornadoes tearing apart a couple of small towns in Illinois, which makes my car into small potatoes, and also overloaded the insurance company computers, so when the nice lady from the insurance looked up my name, all that popped up was my old New Mexico policy that ended more than a year ago.  So she filed the claim anyway.

And instead of someone coming to replace my windshield on Tuesday morning, I got a solemn phone call from another nice lady at the insurance telling me that I did not in fact have car insurance, and did I know that driving around without car insurance and attempting to file a fraudulent claim were illegal?

After a small freakout, I got it straightened out, filed a claim with my perfectly up to date thank you very much auto policy, and had someone come out to fix my windshield yesterday instead.

I feel disconcertingly like an adult right now.
attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)
Since I am still working on my Hurricane Sandy story (sorry [ profile] floranna, you'll have your story, I promise) I can't do an offering for the Philippines, but for once in my life, I have a little bit of money, and I was looking to buy a fic.  and sadly, none of my favorite authors in A:tLA are even offering (sad fish face is very sad).  Any of you guys looking at those disaster photos and thinking "I just got to do something"?  Anybody?  They need more offerers.

It's run through [ profile] fandomaid and they're not running an auction, just a buy-it-now section, but here's the link if you want to look around and maybe shop or offer.  Typhoon Haiyan buy it now fundraiser


attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Default)

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