don't think I have an appropriate icon or much to contribute, just wanted to say I heard what you said and am thinking about these issues a lot. I agree with your assessment that the behavior is a problem, not just the particular way that bullies choose to target.
Also remember reading an advice column recently about a former bully with regrets who found out a former victim committed suicide, and feeling great remorse and guilt. It is important to those who've been bullied to be able to feel some sort of solidarity because isolation and shame are a part of the hurt. It's important for key adults to remember that compassion for all involved isn't permissiveness towards growing children, it's the opposite, it's engagement and correction and boundaries and building society. Because unchecked bullies don't just 'grow out of it', they just get bigger and stronger and better able to camouflage their behavior.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2012-11-04 03:06 pm (UTC)Also remember reading an advice column recently about a former bully with regrets who found out a former victim committed suicide, and feeling great remorse and guilt. It is important to those who've been bullied to be able to feel some sort of solidarity because isolation and shame are a part of the hurt. It's important for key adults to remember that compassion for all involved isn't permissiveness towards growing children, it's the opposite, it's engagement and correction and boundaries and building society. Because unchecked bullies don't just 'grow out of it', they just get bigger and stronger and better able to camouflage their behavior.