Comment cut in half due to length. Second half is below.
Not my brightest move, but oh well. It's all done now.
And there's the tremendous pressure to have your wedding be perfect, which you just don't have if you aren't expecting the wedding to be The Most Important Day Of Your Life. My mom and dad, who were both on their second marriage, had a lovely wedding because they didn't really worry about everything being just so. Mom bought a pretty white sun dress, Dad wore a nice suit, and they were married by my maternal grandmother, who was a notary, and in Florida at the time, notaries could officiate at weddings. They held the ceremony in Grammy's backyard, and then my uncles threw my dad into the pool. We have the greatest picture of my soaking wet dad and my mom trying to cut the cake, with my brother and cousins all stealing fingerfuls of icing. They've been married almost thirty years now.
And of course, you expect that everything will be different after The Most Important Day Of Your Life, but after you're married, you still gotta go on with the business of living. You're right. The end of troubles ideal is deeply toxic.
Sabriel and Lirael's mom were both effectively vessels to carry on the bloodlines of elite men, when you think about it.
Yeah, and it's all the more jarring because it's shown as unusual for the Clayr. Usually it doesn't matter at all who a Clayr's father is.
Aaaaand because I'm me, I went back and read the TV Tropes Never A Self-Made Woman page and got myself caught there for about a half an hour (could be worse). This is part of what the whole princess mystique feeds into, I think. A princess is the ultimate expression (usually) of someone who has power through her connection to a man, father or husband. And it's something I've been extremely aware of in the writing of my current novel. The main character is a princess, but she's a princess because her mother's a princess. Her father's a swordsmith. He made her sword, but her mother taught her how to use it. Her mother is also a main character.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2013-02-13 08:24 pm (UTC)Not my brightest move, but oh well. It's all done now.
And there's the tremendous pressure to have your wedding be perfect, which you just don't have if you aren't expecting the wedding to be The Most Important Day Of Your Life. My mom and dad, who were both on their second marriage, had a lovely wedding because they didn't really worry about everything being just so. Mom bought a pretty white sun dress, Dad wore a nice suit, and they were married by my maternal grandmother, who was a notary, and in Florida at the time, notaries could officiate at weddings. They held the ceremony in Grammy's backyard, and then my uncles threw my dad into the pool. We have the greatest picture of my soaking wet dad and my mom trying to cut the cake, with my brother and cousins all stealing fingerfuls of icing. They've been married almost thirty years now.
And of course, you expect that everything will be different after The Most Important Day Of Your Life, but after you're married, you still gotta go on with the business of living. You're right. The end of troubles ideal is deeply toxic.
Sabriel and Lirael's mom were both effectively vessels to carry on the bloodlines of elite men, when you think about it.
Yeah, and it's all the more jarring because it's shown as unusual for the Clayr. Usually it doesn't matter at all who a Clayr's father is.
Aaaaand because I'm me, I went back and read the TV Tropes Never A Self-Made Woman page and got myself caught there for about a half an hour (could be worse). This is part of what the whole princess mystique feeds into, I think. A princess is the ultimate expression (usually) of someone who has power through her connection to a man, father or husband. And it's something I've been extremely aware of in the writing of my current novel. The main character is a princess, but she's a princess because her mother's a princess. Her father's a swordsmith. He made her sword, but her mother taught her how to use it. Her mother is also a main character.