attackfish

Most of the really horrible things my family members have done are stories their victims (who are also mostly family) would like to be kept private, but suffice it to say that sexual and non-sexual violence has shown up repeatedly in my mother's side of the family. And there was the time my grandfather's mother chased my grandmother around the house with a kitchen knife, screaming about how she was going to kill her, while my grandmother cradled my baby mother in her arms. There's also a lot of drug addiction, which I prefer to keep private, because several of my family members are working incredibly hard on their sobriety and would not appreciate me telling the world about their struggles. On my father's side, my father's mother and my father's sister are both extremely abusive to their children. I haven't dug further, because I'm terrified to find out.

A big part of the reluctance of many people to acknowledge the racism of their ancestors, and how they benefited from the exploitation of others is that they want to think of those ancestors as good people. Since I already know that this great uncle over here, and this great great grandfather over here, and this great grandmother over here were horrible, evil people, thinking of them as racist causes me no pain.

Remember how I mentioned I'm allergic to alchohol? Inebriation isn't even an option! *sobs*