attackfish

The thing is, I've known bullies who were taught to be that way by their families, and racists who were taught to be that way by their families, and abuse victims who grew up to be wonderful people with deep wells of trauma, and the loving tolerant children of horrible people. And I've known horrible people from great families. The one thing I've found though, is that family always has an effect. I've talked about before, for example, how my first stalker's warped family helped enable and encourage her behavior (though I think she still would have been a psychopath without her enabling family), and I may have mentioned a girl who helped drive me out of my elementary school, but whose mother found out, and worked on her behavior and sense of ethics, and two years later, we went to middle school together, and she had become a lovely human being. I never blame a family unless I know a whole lot about what went on, but it always has an effect.

I have never met a mind altering substance I liked. I have similar issues to you with regards to control, multiplied, probably, by my seizure disorder and how out of control my brain was for most of my childhood. Loss of control over my brain is frightening and deeply unpleasant. Doesn't mean every so often I'm like "seriously? Seriously? Nobody should handle this shit without alcohol."

Okay, that's not true. I liked my antidepressants until hey started giving me seizures, but that's a little different.