No doubt. People can tell you how strong you are and how great it is that you're sharing and talking things out, but they don't get what it feels like, they don't know how hard it is. I often just want to lay in a puddle on my bed and just let myself be. I have to fight all the time not to give into it. It's hard and you do it because you have to, not because you expect some prize at the end.
The worst part for me was that my family did a lot of the hurting. I keep thinking, you should have protected me! I was a child!! You should have stopped it! But at the same time, I know it wasn't done out of malice, not that it helps any. Sometimes I think it makes it worse because I feel pathetic blaming them for it.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2013-10-05 02:44 am (UTC)The worst part for me was that my family did a lot of the hurting. I keep thinking, you should have protected me! I was a child!! You should have stopped it! But at the same time, I know it wasn't done out of malice, not that it helps any. Sometimes I think it makes it worse because I feel pathetic blaming them for it.