The double standard with abuse in this season made it really hard for me to relax enough to enjoy the bits that were good, which is a shame, because they actually really could have done some good things with the Bolin/Eska relationship, and how damaged she was and how this motivated her abuse, because she didn't understand how to keep someone with her without force, and how Bolin's friends and brother were well meaning and clueless, and the bones were all there, but the tone was so wrong for it, and they just didn't show any of the things about the relationship that would make me care about Wska and eska's story. It wasn't just offencive, it fell flat.
Abusive relationships can be bound up in genuine tenderness and not all abusers are monsters. Some of them are well-meaning people who have issues of their own and problems with communication and human interaction. Ending a relationship with an abuser can be as wrenching as ending a healthy relationship, even more in some cases since the abuser would have planted a lot of fear and dependence in their partner.
Especially since abusive relationships are often characterized by extreme highs and lows. The highs are spectacular. Abusive romantic relationships always have something that drew the victim in in the first place, and givjng that up with the abuse is just as hard as it would be to give it up without the abuse. Add in trauma bonding, and the intensity of abusive relationships, and it's a real wrench.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2015-01-03 05:26 pm (UTC)Abusive relationships can be bound up in genuine tenderness and not all abusers are monsters. Some of them are well-meaning people who have issues of their own and problems with communication and human interaction. Ending a relationship with an abuser can be as wrenching as ending a healthy relationship, even more in some cases since the abuser would have planted a lot of fear and dependence in their partner.
Especially since abusive relationships are often characterized by extreme highs and lows. The highs are spectacular. Abusive romantic relationships always have something that drew the victim in in the first place, and givjng that up with the abuse is just as hard as it would be to give it up without the abuse. Add in trauma bonding, and the intensity of abusive relationships, and it's a real wrench.