One of the most pernicious aspects of abuse is that the abuser makes enforcers of her victims, making them police themselves and others. Often the way to combat that is for victims to reach out and trust each other, which is a big leap when trust in their abuser already hurt them so badly. I see this with Mai and Zuko and with Mai and Ty Lee, too, building each other up and affirming each others' value where they had been torn down.
The abuser though is very good at looking like the troubled person
Very true. Leslie Steiner Morgan said in her TED talk on why domestic abuse victims stay (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo) (about 10:40 in) that despite beatings and isolation by her husband, she never thought of herself as a battered wife: Rather she saw herself as a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and thought that she was the only person on Earth who could help him. "I am a tortured soul and I need you" is an incredibly insidious hook for abuse, one that turns the victim's own love, intelligence and compassion against herself.
I did not know that about young Jewish men and Gamergate! That's interesting that the language of appropriation is used (one that's familiar to gamers as a whole) instead of deriding victim hood, and sad that it doesn't make a difference. I always thought of the Jewish community as progressive overall, but then again political liberalism is no defense against misogyny.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2015-04-17 04:45 am (UTC)Very true. Leslie Steiner Morgan said in her TED talk on why domestic abuse victims stay (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo) (about 10:40 in) that despite beatings and isolation by her husband, she never thought of herself as a battered wife: Rather she saw herself as a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and thought that she was the only person on Earth who could help him. "I am a tortured soul and I need you" is an incredibly insidious hook for abuse, one that turns the victim's own love, intelligence and compassion against herself.
I did not know that about young Jewish men and Gamergate! That's interesting that the language of appropriation is used (one that's familiar to gamers as a whole) instead of deriding victim hood, and sad that it doesn't make a difference. I always thought of the Jewish community as progressive overall, but then again political liberalism is no defense against misogyny.