I see it a lot with Mai, Ty Lee and Zuko, actually, which is part of why anyone insinuating that the three don't like each other really annoys me. It takes one hell of a strong bond to survive what Azula did as far as sowing discord, and yet Mai is willing to do anything to protect Zuko, and Ty Lee is willing to die to save Mai. I really want to see post-canon Mai/Ty Lee/Zuko bonding, because they could have destroyed each other for Azula, and instead they saved each other.
My stalker never did try to convince me she was troubled or hurting. After her abuse become more blatant, the fact that she enjoyed controlling me was pretty much out in the open. However, in high school, I became the wrangler for an admittedly very mentally ill "friend" who got this dynamic going with me. She had been gaslighting different friends of hers for years to make it look like they were the ones who were crazy, and she was the sane person trying to manage them. After I realized there was no helping her by giving into her, and after she spread the rumor that I defiled her church by sleeping with a boy in the sanctuary, I just stopped helping her hide her erratic behavior and let her flounder. I felt really bad for her. Her father treated her the same way she treated me, and everyone in her family acted like it was somebody else's job to manage their emotions. But my covering for her wasn't doing anybody any good. On the other hand, since it was my "job" to manage her, no one was happy with me when I stopped. Strangely, I don't have anything to do with that social group anymore.
Jewish men are not even near the majority of gamergaters, since after all less than 2% of the American population is Jewish. However, Jewish people of all genders are disproportionately geeky. It's a subculture where the kind of masculinity idealized by Jewish culture is dominant, and fuck if some of them don't use that for everything it's worth. It's their chance to have societal power for once, which too many of them see as their turn to be the bully. I think I talked with you before about the idea of feminists/anti-racists/queer activists/etc. tearing down the system that encourages power differential and treating people with less power as disposable, verses feminists/anti-racists/queer activists/etc. who just want to change their group's place in the hierarchy. This is that on the part of some young Jewish men. They have more than enough privilege to be dangerous, and just enough disadvantage to give them a great big chip on their shoulder.
The Jewish community is very liberal overall, with some exceptions like the Haredi, and in many ways extremely progressive. We have lots of women rabbis, lots of queer rabbis, a strong doctrinal commitment to justice, and an ideal of community that says it is always our job to side with the disenfranchized, an ideal that many Jewish people live up to. However, anywhere there is a power differential, there are going to be abusers who exploit it, and exploit whatever community norms accompany it.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2015-04-17 02:24 pm (UTC)My stalker never did try to convince me she was troubled or hurting. After her abuse become more blatant, the fact that she enjoyed controlling me was pretty much out in the open. However, in high school, I became the wrangler for an admittedly very mentally ill "friend" who got this dynamic going with me. She had been gaslighting different friends of hers for years to make it look like they were the ones who were crazy, and she was the sane person trying to manage them. After I realized there was no helping her by giving into her, and after she spread the rumor that I defiled her church by sleeping with a boy in the sanctuary, I just stopped helping her hide her erratic behavior and let her flounder. I felt really bad for her. Her father treated her the same way she treated me, and everyone in her family acted like it was somebody else's job to manage their emotions. But my covering for her wasn't doing anybody any good. On the other hand, since it was my "job" to manage her, no one was happy with me when I stopped. Strangely, I don't have anything to do with that social group anymore.
Jewish men are not even near the majority of gamergaters, since after all less than 2% of the American population is Jewish. However, Jewish people of all genders are disproportionately geeky. It's a subculture where the kind of masculinity idealized by Jewish culture is dominant, and fuck if some of them don't use that for everything it's worth. It's their chance to have societal power for once, which too many of them see as their turn to be the bully. I think I talked with you before about the idea of feminists/anti-racists/queer activists/etc. tearing down the system that encourages power differential and treating people with less power as disposable, verses feminists/anti-racists/queer activists/etc. who just want to change their group's place in the hierarchy. This is that on the part of some young Jewish men. They have more than enough privilege to be dangerous, and just enough disadvantage to give them a great big chip on their shoulder.
The Jewish community is very liberal overall, with some exceptions like the Haredi, and in many ways extremely progressive. We have lots of women rabbis, lots of queer rabbis, a strong doctrinal commitment to justice, and an ideal of community that says it is always our job to side with the disenfranchized, an ideal that many Jewish people live up to. However, anywhere there is a power differential, there are going to be abusers who exploit it, and exploit whatever community norms accompany it.