The Math is Throwing its Lacy Pink Underwear

As the semester is almost over and I’m almost free for the summer because my scholarship does not pay for summer classes, I’ve been studying franticly the things I learned at the beginning of the semester when everything looked new and shiny and fascinating.

At the beginning of the semester, I officially became a Political Science major, which means all of the engineers, premed students, and other science oriented boys at my school think that I’m a dumb blond.  The worthwhile ones avoid me, and the sleazy ones think that brainless women are the ideal.

What they don’t know is, I’m good at math and science too, thank you very much, as anyone in my statistics class (something I have to take as a polisci major) will tell you.

Teaching Assistant: How did you do that in your head?
Fish: It's not that hard... wait, how did you know I did that in my head?
Teaching Assistant: You don't have a calculator and you didn't touch a pencil.
Fish: You were watching?  Why do you care?!?

My teacher is very impressed with me, even though being a human calculator isn’t terribly useful when there are calculators around.  I was just too forgetful to put mine in my backpack that moring.

I just don’t like math very much.  It isn’t awful, but it doesn’t really interest me.  I like science, especially biology, but with my allergies, entering labs is impossible.  I managed to 504 plan my way out of high school science, I certainly can’t take university labs.  Fortunately, there are lab sciences without chemicals and growing things, but I’d have to take more than one lab were I going into any of the sciences.

So, I’m going to make money at the humanities, poor deluded me.  Actually, I can make very good money working for the government as an expert on the Middle East who speaks Arabic.

So, being as I’m in the humanities and yet have a very good brain, I like to mess with the math, science, engineering, and technology students.  They’re a terribly literal minded bunch, and while my mom calls my dad and me Literal Man and Literal Girl, and claims we need spandex uniforms, I know what a play on words is.

Computer Science Student: It's less like a computer science class and more like a discrete mathematics course.
Fish: that's good; it's when the math becomes indiscreet that there are problems.

Unfortunately, Computer Science students don’t always know what they are.  This one blinked at me for a full minute and tried to explain that it wasn’t discreet math.  I closed my eyes, shuddered, and explained what a pun was.  He blinked at me for another full minute, and then burst out laughing.