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Sometimes, activism, or even just being a thinking, caring human being, grinds one down. There are days when I think, no, I really wish I hadn’t heard such and such offensive thing, because I should do something, and damn, I’m just too tired to deal with jackasses finding excuse after excuse to keep doing what they’re doing, and keep telling me that really, complainers like me are the real problem. And then there’s today. Today, I was flipping trough radio channels on my way to class, and I hit on the morning talk show of our local classic rock station. Since they usually pay music after the talking instead of commercials, I hung around. The host and her colleagues started talking about the woman who tried to ride up an escalator in Boston on her motorized scooter. Apparently, at the end of the clip, the woman involved got up and walked, and our lovely radio host quoted a hilarious comment from the internet, “Oh look, fatty can walk.” Yeah. That would have been enough, but they started talking about people who use the motorized carts at the grocery store, those obviously not disabled people who walk in, and just take them, and maybe if they waked around the store, they would lose some weight. Oh, and they go down the middle of the aisle, too, how dare they? The host even mentioned the time she sprained her ankle, and how much not fun those carts were for her to use, and aren’t those fat-she’s-sure-they-aren’t-disabled people stupid for using them?
Sigh.
So that’s the bad part. The good part was, after class was canceled, I used my extra time to run down to the radio station and talk to the program manager. I outlined why I thought the segment had been offensive, and said I wasn’t blaming anybody, because we all have unexamined prejudices, and that the important thing is that we learn from our screw ups. He listened to the segment, agreed with me, and told me exactly what he planned to say to the radio hosts, and that he was very glad I came in, because frequently, when people are offended by these kinds of real, serious, hurtful things, they don’t come in, and if he doesn’t personally realize they’re offensive, then he can’t do anything about it. His apology was genuine, and his wish to do better seemed sincere. All and all, one of my better experiences as a person with disabilities interacting with ableism.
It was also a personal victory for me, because I stayed calm, smiling, and non-confrontational even though I was very offended by what I had heard, and absolutely furious. This is a skill I have difficulties with, and I’m working hard on it. And look, good results! Positive reenforcement for me!
I also positively reenforced myself with ice cream when I got home. I think this learning technique should be more widely applied.
Since I know a lot of the people who read this journal show up to my disability posts to learn something, I’m going to unpack, in brief, what was wrong with the above radio segment. Those of you who know this already, bear with me.
1. Anybody who can walk for a few steps isn’t really disabled.
Not everybody with a mobility impairment is unable to leave their chair. Some of them, can *gasp* walk, or even run. Some people who have to use a wheelchair or powered scooter on some days, can run laps and bike ride on others. Some can walk short distances, but aren’t up to strenuous activity. This attitude is symptomatic of a general doubt people with disabilities live with, and the way many people are constantly checking for signs that we’re somehow faking our disabilities.
2. Most people who use assistive technology like motorized scooters and those carts in the grocery store are just lazy and overweight.
Many people who use assistive technology are overweight. For many of these people, their disability is a direct cause of of their weight. Firstly, most of us have no idea how moble we are until that’s taken away. No longer being able to walk or run (or walk or run far) means that we burn fewer calories, bat aren’t necessarily less hungry, and so gaining a mobility disability can cause an increase in weight for that reason alone. Also, a number of disabilities just plain cause weight gain. Hypothyroidism, for example, can make weight gain nearly inevitable, and nearly impossible to get rid of. (Hypothyroidism is far from the only one, but I know more about it, because I’ve got a family history of it).
There are people who are overweight for reasons other than their disability, of course. But being overweight doesn’t mean they also don’t need or deserve to use assistive devices, even if their weight exacerbates their mobility problems. For example, say someone has arthritis. Their weight puts more pressure on their joints, and cuts down on how far they can walk. In the long term, this person may be trying to lose weight, but in the short term, they still need to buy food, and that means getting around the grocery store in a motorized cart.
3. Fat people are disgusting, lazy slobs, who deserve to be shamed.
There’s a word for this: fat-phobia. I know this isn’t strictly a disability issue, but there’s a lot of intersection, and it’s worth talking about. Many people are overweight because of genetics, or as covered above, illness. Many people are fat because they don’t have access to good food. Many people are fat because they don’t have the time or mental energy to exercise. Many people are fat because it’s their body’s reaction to stress, and their lives are extremely stressful. You and I can’t magically tell why someone’s fat, and it doesn’t really matter why someone is fat. Nobody deserves to be treated like dirt because of their physical attributes. And before anybody starts the “but theyre a drain on society!” spiel, sorry, no, their weight affects them a heck of a lot more than it affects you or me, and most fat people, just like most not fat people, contribute to society.
4. People with disabilities get special privileges/think they can act however they want.
This is why people are on the lookout for people faking their disability. The idea that a disadvantaged group gets special privileges, or wants special privileges relative to the population is a common one. It’s a belief held about Native Americans, Black people, immigrants, queer people, people with disabilities... It is an unconscious way to soothe the collective conscience with regards to any mistreatment the disadvantaged group faces, and a way to justify the status quo. “I’m not oppressing you, in fact you’re oppressing me with guilt.” It isn’t true, and I doubt there are swarms of people eager to fake a disability. I was a little astonished that the radio host didn’t even acknowledge this possibility when she talked about her own experience using the motorized carts. If one is used to walking everywhere, the carts are miserable to bother with, and almost no one would use them by choice, as I am reminded every time I break my foot (five times now. Aargh!).
5. People who use motorized carts are horrible people for driving down the center of the aisle.
Those things are really really hard to steer, and if you try to stay near the shelves, you end up playing bumper carts with the cereal boxes.
We talked about all of this (except the bumper carts) and I talked a little bit about invisible disability, and I think I gained a lot of credibility when my invisible disability decided to rapidly become visible in the middle of the conversation when my hands and feet turned blue, and I started to shake, which is my body’s way of saying get thee to an oxygen concentrator. I did, I swear, put it into more personal, emotional terms than this. It was interesting to find out how dificult it was for me to put these consepts into informal, non-accademic language, because aside from this blog, when I talk about this stuff (asside from filthy-mouthed venting) mostly in clinical, impersonal, accademic terms, in class as a Sociology and Political Science student. Damn you Social Sciences education!
My God, I feel good today, even if my body clearly hates me.
Sigh.
So that’s the bad part. The good part was, after class was canceled, I used my extra time to run down to the radio station and talk to the program manager. I outlined why I thought the segment had been offensive, and said I wasn’t blaming anybody, because we all have unexamined prejudices, and that the important thing is that we learn from our screw ups. He listened to the segment, agreed with me, and told me exactly what he planned to say to the radio hosts, and that he was very glad I came in, because frequently, when people are offended by these kinds of real, serious, hurtful things, they don’t come in, and if he doesn’t personally realize they’re offensive, then he can’t do anything about it. His apology was genuine, and his wish to do better seemed sincere. All and all, one of my better experiences as a person with disabilities interacting with ableism.
It was also a personal victory for me, because I stayed calm, smiling, and non-confrontational even though I was very offended by what I had heard, and absolutely furious. This is a skill I have difficulties with, and I’m working hard on it. And look, good results! Positive reenforcement for me!
I also positively reenforced myself with ice cream when I got home. I think this learning technique should be more widely applied.
Since I know a lot of the people who read this journal show up to my disability posts to learn something, I’m going to unpack, in brief, what was wrong with the above radio segment. Those of you who know this already, bear with me.
1. Anybody who can walk for a few steps isn’t really disabled.
Not everybody with a mobility impairment is unable to leave their chair. Some of them, can *gasp* walk, or even run. Some people who have to use a wheelchair or powered scooter on some days, can run laps and bike ride on others. Some can walk short distances, but aren’t up to strenuous activity. This attitude is symptomatic of a general doubt people with disabilities live with, and the way many people are constantly checking for signs that we’re somehow faking our disabilities.
2. Most people who use assistive technology like motorized scooters and those carts in the grocery store are just lazy and overweight.
Many people who use assistive technology are overweight. For many of these people, their disability is a direct cause of of their weight. Firstly, most of us have no idea how moble we are until that’s taken away. No longer being able to walk or run (or walk or run far) means that we burn fewer calories, bat aren’t necessarily less hungry, and so gaining a mobility disability can cause an increase in weight for that reason alone. Also, a number of disabilities just plain cause weight gain. Hypothyroidism, for example, can make weight gain nearly inevitable, and nearly impossible to get rid of. (Hypothyroidism is far from the only one, but I know more about it, because I’ve got a family history of it).
There are people who are overweight for reasons other than their disability, of course. But being overweight doesn’t mean they also don’t need or deserve to use assistive devices, even if their weight exacerbates their mobility problems. For example, say someone has arthritis. Their weight puts more pressure on their joints, and cuts down on how far they can walk. In the long term, this person may be trying to lose weight, but in the short term, they still need to buy food, and that means getting around the grocery store in a motorized cart.
3. Fat people are disgusting, lazy slobs, who deserve to be shamed.
There’s a word for this: fat-phobia. I know this isn’t strictly a disability issue, but there’s a lot of intersection, and it’s worth talking about. Many people are overweight because of genetics, or as covered above, illness. Many people are fat because they don’t have access to good food. Many people are fat because they don’t have the time or mental energy to exercise. Many people are fat because it’s their body’s reaction to stress, and their lives are extremely stressful. You and I can’t magically tell why someone’s fat, and it doesn’t really matter why someone is fat. Nobody deserves to be treated like dirt because of their physical attributes. And before anybody starts the “but theyre a drain on society!” spiel, sorry, no, their weight affects them a heck of a lot more than it affects you or me, and most fat people, just like most not fat people, contribute to society.
4. People with disabilities get special privileges/think they can act however they want.
This is why people are on the lookout for people faking their disability. The idea that a disadvantaged group gets special privileges, or wants special privileges relative to the population is a common one. It’s a belief held about Native Americans, Black people, immigrants, queer people, people with disabilities... It is an unconscious way to soothe the collective conscience with regards to any mistreatment the disadvantaged group faces, and a way to justify the status quo. “I’m not oppressing you, in fact you’re oppressing me with guilt.” It isn’t true, and I doubt there are swarms of people eager to fake a disability. I was a little astonished that the radio host didn’t even acknowledge this possibility when she talked about her own experience using the motorized carts. If one is used to walking everywhere, the carts are miserable to bother with, and almost no one would use them by choice, as I am reminded every time I break my foot (five times now. Aargh!).
5. People who use motorized carts are horrible people for driving down the center of the aisle.
Those things are really really hard to steer, and if you try to stay near the shelves, you end up playing bumper carts with the cereal boxes.
We talked about all of this (except the bumper carts) and I talked a little bit about invisible disability, and I think I gained a lot of credibility when my invisible disability decided to rapidly become visible in the middle of the conversation when my hands and feet turned blue, and I started to shake, which is my body’s way of saying get thee to an oxygen concentrator. I did, I swear, put it into more personal, emotional terms than this. It was interesting to find out how dificult it was for me to put these consepts into informal, non-accademic language, because aside from this blog, when I talk about this stuff (asside from filthy-mouthed venting) mostly in clinical, impersonal, accademic terms, in class as a Sociology and Political Science student. Damn you Social Sciences education!
My God, I feel good today, even if my body clearly hates me.
