Vid: Azula's Jar of Hearts

[attackfish]

Disclaimer: The music for this vid is Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts". The footage in this vid comes from Avatar: the Last Airbender, which belongs to Nickelodeon, as well as to Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko.

Summary: This is what Ty Lee wishes she could say

Creator Commentary:  This vid is about the relationship of Ty Lee and Azula, but it does not celebrate that relationship.  I have previously talked about my own experiences with abuse within a supposed friendship, much like Ty Lee and Azula's and as such, I will always portray Azula's relationship with Mai, Ty Lee, and Zuko as the abuse it absolutely is.  Mai and Ty Lee's actions at the Boiling Rock were tremendously brave, and a true triumph.

Azula's Jar of Hearts

Comments

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Making this vid, I kept saying to myself, damn Azula, you're short, but the camera is always looking up at you. The camera loves you, baby!

I thought about trying to lip sync, but there was just no way. I will not lie though, every time I see Pakku say "Oh that's pretty," I giggle.

There is no such thing as an abusive relationship that isn't "genuine" on some level, unless you were coerced into taking part in the relationship in the first place. There is nothing more intense than the beginnings of an abusive relationship, the "grooming" phase, I guess. It feels perfect, and exciting, and like you're riding the top of a car or a plane, and you're holding on for dear life, but it's great. This person makes you feel strong, and safe, and happy, and you make them feel powerful, and safe and whole, and it's perfect. Then the abuse starts, and either you don't notice it at first (like me, because I was ten, and first abuse was gaslighting) or you don't believe it, or you think it's nothing, and then it builds and builds and builds, and when it gets really bad, they back off. They apologize, or blame you and you repent, or something, and then it's really really good again, for a little while, before WHAM. I think Ty Lee genuinely loved and admired, and feared for Azula, along with fearing her. The show does a really good job with Zuko showing just how an abuse victim can flat out adore their abuser, and how this isn't their fault, and I think that's also shown with Ty Lee. Mai, I'm not so sure about. She plays things really close to the vest. She cares about Ty Lee, and I think she used to care about Azula. I'm not sure Azula is capable of caring about someone else in the way we think about it, but she values them, and is dependent on them on some level.

[lalunatique.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure Azula is capable of caring about someone else in the way we think about it, but she values them, and is dependent on them on some level.

I imagine the abuser is always hugely dependent on the abused. The abuse itself has to arise out of some need, even if the stated reason is a dickish one like "because I can." I think for Azula as for a lot of abusers it came out of the need for control, and being able to dominate Ty Lee and Mai fulfilled that need for her.

In this light, it's no wonder Azula fell apart after their act of defiance; her utter failure of mastery over the two most reliable variables in her life meant everything in her world was now out of her control and she was totally helpless.

This is Azula's paradoxical tragedy: In trying to achieve total self-sufficiency from the unpredictability of affection and need, something I believe was triggered in part by her mother's disappearance, she actually set herself up for abject dependence on other people. When they refused to prop her world up, it simply fell apart.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Azula needs them. This is the one thing the Azula fangirls kind of sort of get about their relationship, even if they absolutely misinterpret what that means or what should be done about it. I've mentioned before to you that every time Ozai abused Zuko, he was also abusing Azula, saying to her, this is what will happen to you if you aren't perfect. It was extremely telling in the finale that she told him, "You can't treat me like Zuko!" Ozai's raising of the two of them, and his favoring of Azula led to her seeing the world in extremely black and white terms. Either you're perfect, and in control, or you're a worthless waste of space, like Zuko.

Underneath all of her poise and arrogance is deep, absolute insecurity. Inside, where she won't even admit it to herself, Azula knows she isn't infallible, she knows she isn't perfect, but because in her world, you're either perfect or worthless, she is constantly trying to maintain that perfection and control. She's desperately afraid that someone will see through her, but she's also desperately afraid of seeing it herself. Her control of Mai and Ty Lee gives her this constant little jolt of power that reenforces her perfect image to herself and boosts her fragile self worth. And you're right, Azula is dependent on them to help her maintain her image of perfect self sufficiency.

I don't think Mai and Ty Lee's leaving alone triggered Azula's breakdown. It was one of two factors that happened in quick succession. Azula's self confidence rested on three pillars, her personal estimation of her perfection, Mai and Ty Lee's fear of her and her control over them, and her father's favor. Mai and Ty Lee took away the first two, by fighting back, and then Mai telling Azula that she miscalculated. Then right after that, her father withdrew his favor and started treating her "like Zuko", and it all comes crashing down.

Oddly, in Azula's mind, I think Mai and Ty Lee occupy a liminal place between the two extremes of perfect and worthless. Oh they're certainly not as good or important as Azula, but they're far superior to the peons of the world. That's why they're her chosen victims, and you bet she made them feel that way. That's part of the attraction, feeling special.

The thing is, Azula is deeply hurting, and tragic, and she also has no conscience, and A:tLA was really good at showing that both of those things could exist in one person.