attackfish: Yshre girl wearing a kippah, text "Attackfish" (Harry and Ron Rule 7)
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Disclaimer: If I were JKR...  Damn I wish.



Snape’s Laundry

 

When Alastor Moody burst into the drawing room carrying a basket full of black robes, the assembled raised their eyebrows but barely paused their conversation.  When Severus Snape, dressed only in a towel around his waist followed suit, they stared openmouthed.

“My robes do not contain a cleverly disguised Dementor, Alastor!”

“Not a cleverly disguised one, no,” said Sirius under his breath to Remus.

Suddenly one of the robes sprang from the basket, enveloping Moody, who shrieked and dropped the basket.  Snape snatched it up and fled.

Sirius glanced over at Remus's flicking wand and Remus smiled.  "I couldn't resist."




The Plight of the Naugas

 

“And the chair was made out of this stuff the Muggle called Naugahyde…” Aurthur babbled fascinated.

Sirius gasped.  “And you sat on it?”

“Well yes,” he shifted his feet.

“Don’t you know about the plight of the Naugas?”

~*~

Remus’ eyes widened as Arthur continued to speak.  “And they live their whole lives in vats of Vaseline to keep their skin pliable, so muggles can skin them.  Really can you imagine how many mouse sized creatures it takes to make a chair?”

Remus nodded politely, but as Arthur moved to tell this to someone else, he marched to the staircase.  “Sirius!”




Pillow Talk

 

The moonlight beamed in from behind the tattered curtains and Sirius stared idly up at the shadows on the cracked ceiling.  A spring poked into his back and he shivered beneath the far too thin and threadbare bedspread.  He closed his eyes, but the moonlight just turned the world behind his eyelids a dull red.  He heaved himself up on his arm and peered though the gloom at the man lying beside him.  “Hey Snape, are you awake?” he whispered in his ear, poking him in the ribs.

“Go back to sleep, Black,” came the drowsily irritable reply.

“Levicorpus.”

“Sectumsempra.”

 

Date: 2008-04-01 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] attackfish.livejournal.com
Muttering sleepily. I had been talking with a friend of mine and said that Snack was my favorite ship because of the possibilities for pillow talk, i.e. snark, so I figured I'd write some.

i always thought songfic was what people did when they took the lyrics of a song and wrote a story between the lyrics...

Date: 2008-04-01 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivanoma.livejournal.com
search "songfic" on ffnet and you may find all sorts of different songfic
and I understand about not thinking as broadly as possible...I thought pillow talk only occured between lovers

Date: 2008-04-01 06:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] attackfish.livejournal.com
I don't even dare that search! My pastiches were solely meant as parody, if loving parody, of the books, nothing serious at all.

It does, though in this case "lovers" is used loosely. No matter how good the sex is, they still wouldn't be able to stand each other. Snack is the Snape/Black ship.

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