I Hate "Teachable Moments": Disability and Fanfiction, or How Not to Fail at Disability in Comments

[attackfish]

Writing my current chapterfic, Children of Mars, is becoming a didactic exercise.  The writing itself is as much a pleasure as ever, and has even gained a sense of catharsis, but when it comes time to post, I want to just save it to my computer and never let one more idiot reader anywhere near it.  Now I know not all of you dear readers are idiots, and one of the things I like best about writing fanfiction is the social framework and critique of fandom (yeah, I write for the comments, such a bad girl) and I have never felt this way about posting a fic before.  Before I have always written about able-bodied characters.

My writing Snape with a disability along with werewolfism is part protest at the way characters with disabilities were portrayed in the books I read as a child and part personal expression of myself as a writer with disabilities.  We don’t have the same disability, in the story Snape uses crutches, whereas I’m oxygen dependent and have an immune disease, but we share a certain status as people with disabilities, or (good God) disabled people.  It’s wonderful, and freeing, and it makes me feel so much better after bad days.

But once I post, it seems like so many of the reviews I receive are “teachable moments” and that’s not so wonderful.

Some of you have been saying you can’t wrap your heads around Snape as disabled.  That isn’t because of anything inherent in either Snape as a character or disability, but in cultural narratives that paint people with disabilities as either weak, or more insidiously as plucky, happy symbols of Good, like the damsel in distress in action movies, not a character so much as an object.  Snape will never be a tragic, passive, stoic cripple (a word that I see a lot in reviews and makes me throw up a little in my mouth each time).  He will never be helpless.  He is and always will be a snarky git.  So many of the reviews talk about how horrible all of the other characters are to him.  Well, he’s horrible to them.  Besides which if anyone, even Lily, especially Lily, were suddenly to treat him like a helpless incompetent child who can’t protect himself or do a thing on his own, he would hex them all into oblivion.  When people do that to me, I wish I could.

When I was a kid, books about people with disabilities seemed to end one of two ways.  Either the pure, good, tragic cripple died, or the pure, good, tragic cripple was cured.  Okay, there were also villains whose disabilities were a symbolic sign of their inner corruption, but I’m not even going to touch that one.  Such endings are incredibly disheartening for me, growing up, because I didn’t want to die, and I was never going to be miraculously cured.  I had to carve out a happy ending of my own that included my disability.   For those of you who keep saying you want Snape’s leg repaired at the end, you are tapping into that same disenfranchising cultural narrative.  Stop it.  Stop it now.  Don’t make me get out my squirt bottle of wrathful smiting.  Whatever ending I write (and I will spoil this, if nothing else) Snape and his disability will be around at the end, along with their happy ending.

One thing I didn’t mention about the perfect tragic cripple trope is that they are always portrayed as lacking any sort of sexuality at all.  They neither have sexual feelings or are appropriate objects of desire for other characters.  What. The. Hell.  Okay, okay, there is one type of character with disabilities allowed to lust, the disabled villain.  Of course their sexuality is always portrayed as deviant, and threatening, and further sign of their evil.  Now, no one has sent me a comment with this bit of fail in it, as Snape hasn’t done any more than engage in some canon unrequited Lily love, but I’m waiting,  When the situation calls for them, I’ll get these too.  I have no doubt.

All of this makes me feel even more queasy as I write this, and I get no catharsis or enjoyment from it.  It shouldn’t be my job, but because I will continue writing characters with disabilities, not just in fic but in original works as well, I have put myself in the position of teaching by example, so for my own peace of mind, I must also teach directly.  I’m sure those characters will get similar sorts of reviews, sometimes, if I’m lucky, from reviewers and writers I respect.  When I send my stories out into the world, the knowledge that people will read my characters differently because of their disabilities will always be there.

Snape is not tragic.  He is not a poor crippled boy to be protected and treated nicely by the noble heroes.  He is the hero.  He will fight against and work with his disability, but ultimately, he will do it on his own, like all of us must do at the end of the day.

I’m sure I didn’t cover everything in this post, and a lot of you will be rolling your eyes going “yes, we know all this” and  this is really basic realize people with disabilities are people stuff, but I keep getting comments where I have to reiterate this.  All of you dear readers who do know all this, thank you, and no fear all, I’m still writing Children of Mars and other fanfics.

Comments

[konekochan-desu.livejournal.com]

Bravo, I say again. I hope everyone who reads Children of Mars reads this as well.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Too bad the worst offenders are all on ff.net.

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

I haven't actually been reading your fanfic novel (I'm sorry! I tend not to read fanfic at all unless it is both by a friend and short and porn-y, tho this post actually has dramatically increased my chances of reading yours even tho it seems to be none of those things; i actually really like the idea of a powerful hero w/mobility issues), buta couple of thoughts.

First, re: sex & disabilities -- I immediately thought of the movie "Monkey Shines". That is the only case I know where someone who had no use of their legs (or no legs? cant remember) had sex in a movie.The protagonist, not a villain. It's a horror movie/thriller. I can't remember the ending, so I dunno if the dude was cured or not. But might be worth a look.

And totally w/you on people w/disabilities being entitled to the same treatment as everyone else. The best fictional example of this I can think of is Prof X from the X-Men, and we know he had romantic liaisons, even if we never got to see them, and Barbara Gordon (once Batgirl, now paralyzed from waist down, apparently can still fight, at least well enough to take out three wanna be muggers, if not probably at the point where she wants to go hand to hand w/Killer Croc or somesuch). Dunno if you read comics, tho?

Anyway, now I might actually have to go back and try reading your fanfic novel. If I end up doing this, I shall hate you.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I figured you weren't. It's weird having been here long enough to develop an audience for my blog and an audience for my fic and they aren't the same audience. I'm really flattered you're considering reading it, even though I expect it to be novel length by the time I'm done.

According to Wikipedia, he does get repaired in the end, and ad that to the fact that it's horror, not much my cup of tea.

Babs rocks, always has *is thoroughly bummed about the cancellation of Birds of Prey even if the quality nosedived after Gail Simone left*, though sadly, she's another one who gets tagged with the "repair her" meme. I mean, the girl kicks ass in a wheelchair, and she got to romance Dick Grayson, I mean, yeah, I kinda like her, maybe a little. Of course, she's a subversion of a refrigerated woman (her refrigeration and her climbing out of that status becoming part of her tragic heroic backstory) so that just adds a whole new level of cool.

[ontogenesis.livejournal.com]

One thing I didn’t mention about the perfect tragic cripple trope is that they are always portrayed as lacking any sort of sexuality at all.

Ever watch the American TV show House? The lead character is pure sex-on-a-cane (see my icon). Dr. House takes joy in a being a complete and utter ass, although he's portrayed as a complex character. The show also plays with the themes of "pity" and "compassion" and how it can be quite unwanted. (One of my favorite scenes is when House's best friend -- who is usually far too lenient with House -- gets back at him by sabotaging his cane. And House is very pleased.)

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I watched it once, but the portrayals of medicine were so off base, and the rare illnesses frequently not that rare or obscure that I couldn't get into it.

Also, I saw all of Hugh Laurie's old acts in British comedy where his Shtick was playing a buffoon, so it's hard to find him sexy after that, lol.

[lydia-golis.livejournal.com]

I need to read your fic. I just do, and I'm thrilled that it's in a fandom I know. A thousand "yes"es to everything in this post.

We as people with disabilities need to remind ourselves that we don't have to be anyone's inspiration or teachable moment or exhibit A against ablism or whatever unless we choose to. There is no obligation!

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I know how you feel. At least when I limited myself to one fandom, I chose a big one :)

Exactly! And the more the able bodied community tries to thrust the obligation on us, the more we need to remember that obligation isn't real.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom. Ugh, I am so sorry about the bullshit you get in comments. People actually use the word 'cripple' in reviews? Of course they do, why expect anything less offensive?

One thing you might like, if you are looking for more positive betrayals of disability, is the Japanese manga Fullmetal Alchemist. There are some utterly awesome disabled characters, and while they have Tragic Backstories a bit too often, they have lives and capabilities and sexuality. Might be worth checking out.

[blackjackrocket.livejournal.com]

Doesn't everyone in FMA have a Tragic Backstory?

[goldjadeocean.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom. Thank you for saying this, and writing a disabled character honestly. It's an awesome rant, and I know trying to deal with people who just don't get it is really frustrating.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you and you're welcome all at the same time! My friends are all glad I wrote this, because it stopped me from ranting to them fir a while.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom
Thanks for this.

You should really check out House. My icon is for illustration only, people dehumanizing other people when it comes to people with disabilities and/or disabled people, just proves how narrow minded we are as a culture when it comes to the body.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

*blush*

I've had House suggested to me before, but between the way the show gets the medical stuff so horribly wrong and the way I keep waiting for Hugh Laurie to do something silly (sometimes watching loads of old British comedy is a bad thing, who knew) has prevented me from enjoying the show when I try to watch it.

[jesse_the_k]

Also here from metafandom. Thank you for ranting--and even more for writing.

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this post! Well said.

[penguin-attie.livejournal.com]

Ooh now I need to go read this fic. It'll make a change from playing The Sims 3 for the last two weeks straight and its perfect world where at worst you'll get a cough, you can't have two lovers at the same time, and career advances only depend on how hard you work. I want a wheelchair mod!

</rant>

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Remind me not to play The Sims 3, or possibly to play it in an escapist sort of way.

[alias_sqbr]

Oh, thankyou for writing this. I was just pondering these issues today: one of my protagonists is chronically ill, and I'm trying to figure out how to have her take charge of her life more (mostly for reasons unrelated to health) and have SOME improvement in her condition without it being "And then she got a positive attitude and got better and lived happily ever after, the end!". It doesn't help that I've only been really debilitatingly ill for a year and a bit so am still working through a lot of internalised unchallenged ableist attitudes myself. But yes, while I haven't got any negative feedback on the illness-related parts of my fic yet, I do wonder how people will react at the end when she (spoilers!) neither gets (significantly) better nor dies.

A fic I read which I felt did a good job of not falling into any of these traps is Finding Himself, a HP AU where Cedric doesn't die but is disabled by the confrontation with Voldemort (and then saves the day! And finds love! And has a cool pet raccoon!...and is maybe a teeny bit of a Gary Stu :) But he doesn't get better!)

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, in some ways it's easier because I've had my illness my whole life. I have fewer ableist assumptions about what it means to be sick and disabled and what it means to be healthy, though I have internalized some, I'm sure. For instance, when I got my oxygen tank, I said to myself, "Yeah, I carry oxygen, but I'm not disabled." When I got my license and a handicapped parking placard on the same day, I said "Yeah, I have to use handicapped parking, but I'm not disabled," and then I got to college and had to go through the accessibility office and write up a statement of disability, I still said "Yeah, but I'm not disabled." It took me a long time to be able to say to myself, "No Fish, you are disabled." That's a tough dilemma, that; you could move the physical towards the middle, so that it isn't the resolution, I guess.

Thanks, I'll have to check it out, and force down my Gary Stu warning system.

[strikesoftly.livejournal.com]

Yes. Thank you.

(Here from metafandom, by the way.)

[blackjackrocket.livejournal.com]

I have sort of an odd situation with an original story. There's three kids who're taken into the military (it's a fantasy setting), and the one who's disabled winds up not being used in battle at all (she's also resistant to the leader's spells due to spoileriffic reasons so yeah). So she remains upbeat and confident, only transiently due to her disability. It's moreover because she's not broken by the battlefield. But I'm worried that people will see it like that.

Maybe "upbeat" is the wrong word to use. Her friends wind up almost giving up entirely, and she doesn't, if that clarifies it.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

A lot of people with disabilities end up with a fair amount of grit, because we get so used to fighting, that when a fight comes our way, we're ready, so her handling it best isn't that unusual. It could work, if you did it well...

[starlady38.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this post (I too am here from metafandom). I shall have to check out your fic; do you mind if I friend you?

P.S. I'd second the recommendation of Fullmetal Alchemist, but the manga, not the anime.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I don't mind at all.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

[angel-kathryn.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom.

Thank you for saying this. Thank you. This is really important and I hope lots of people read it and don't forget it.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Unfortunately, this is fandom. We forget everything useful. ;)

Here from metafandom

[yourlibrarian]

I had to carve out a happy ending of my own that included my disability. For those of you who keep saying you want Snape’s leg repaired at the end, you are tapping into that same disenfranchising cultural narrative. Stop it. Stop it now.

I'm really relieved to hear someone say this. I don't have a disability, but one thing that has always bothered me about reading stories that feature characters developing one is that they nearly always are somehow cured at the end. Even though, realistically, the various affected characters will integrate that experience and it will continue to affect them in the future, it comes across as if the writer is wiping away the character who had the disability in the first place. This is probably because the stories tend to end at that point. You don't see them going on with that experience in their backgrounds, much less going on with the disability in the first place. I find that frustrating.

Re: Here from metafandom

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

And if the disability was always only temporary, its a "learning experience." Actually, it would probably be pretty cool to read about someone transitioning to being able bodied and learning to live with able bodied privilege. When someone says something stupid about disability, do they still feel the sting, or does it fade, or do they feel the sting and then feel guilty? Mostly though, I want to see more stories with unquestionably happy endings with a disabled character continuing to have their disability, just to show that it's possible.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

*hands you all the internets, ever*

Lord, I am so tired of the plucky cured (or ignored) person with a disability in stories. A wheelchair is not a tragedy, for crying out loud.

I'm getting a t-shirt that says "Disability is no barrier to sex" and wearing it whenever I'm out with my husband. He's a full-time wheelchair user. Even though we're disgustingly couple-y in public, people still assume I'm his caretaker - even after knowing us for months or even years. Because why else would I be hanging out with someone in a wheelchair?

I was watching Joan of Arcadia (I had to stop), and it looked like it was doing good things in terms of HEA endings for Kevin, who became a full-time wheelchair user after a car accident. Should you wish to look up an older show.

[I'm not a big fan of Professor X as an example of a person with a disability in a story, because his wheelchair floats. I've never read or seen anything that shows his disability actually seriously affecting his life, and it's implied at one point that he's only in the wheelchair because his psychic powers keep him there, and that his powers are "payment" for his disability. YMMV, of course. But we'll never see the damned floating wheelchair keeping him out of a doctor's office because the bloody hospital isn't wheelchair accessible. Not that I'm bitter.]

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I actually would like to see a portrayal of an ignored person with disabilities from the point of view of that person, so long as they aren't plucky, cured, or tragic. So long as the audience doesn't get to ignore the person with disabilities!

I get plucky sometimes, it's an act I adopt when I want to rip someone's head off.

I sometimes drag my friend shares my illness but isn't oxygen dependent around with me so that people will assume she's my caregiver (I take advantage of the invisibility of her disability, but it's okay, she takes advantage of my handicapped parking) and won't randomly pick up my oxygen concentrator or backpack to "help". It's always creepy when a stranger does it, and it's always scary, and they always get angry when I'm not grateful. I guess the "cripples don't have sex" thing really comes from people thinking we can't do anything.

This is actually the first time I've heard of Joan of Arcadia. I will have to check it out.

Neither am I actually, though if I had to use a wheelchair, I'd like it to float. His portrayal, although positive, is Deeply Problematic. The portrayal of Rachel Gordon is much better. I can't top the irony of non wheelchair accessible hospitals... No wait, I can. My school's accessibility center (the tiny department that helps disabled students get through school) is on the second floor of a building with no elevators or ramps, no close handicapped parking, no and braille on the signs. It's down a winding mazelike hall, behind the medieval history department, (fitting, actually) and behind a seven years out of date poster of a lecture series about ninth century Scandinavian royalty.

[fizzyblogic.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom and yes yes YES.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I LOVE your icon.

[(Anonymous)]

Last time this came up over at the Six Apart Place (here via Metafandom, btw) I wrote this in response, about writing a character with a disability.

(No one seemed interested then, and probably no one will be interested now.)

http://janecarnall.insanejournal.com/90636.html

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Well thanks for popping down LJ way! All in all, I found it to be a very good post, and I'm glad you wrote about your decision during writing the fic about not having Mulcahy magically cured at the end and the structural effects on what you could and couldn't write. I'm eleven chapters in, and I still have to rewrite scenes because I forgot Snape's disability.

However please please please edit out your use of the word "crippled". Before you say "But you use it!" Firstly I have a disability, and secondly, I use it for effect, refferencing an attitude I have observed. It's really actually offensive. If you do that, I'll happily link to it in my post.

[mary-pseud.livejournal.com]

Here via metafandom

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around people thinking that Snape must somehow turn into an entirely different person because he has a walking handicap. I'd picture him as just as snarky with crutches, with the bonus of always having something heavy on hand to thwack people with.

And on a personal-opinion note, I wrote a series of fanfics in which a character who was (canonically) severely physically handicapped ended up being repaired. Was this an offensive concept right from the get-go? Should I not have done that?

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I'm absolutely baffled by it. In retrospect, I know centuries worth of cultural assumptions go into that logicless mess, but the first time someone tried to comment with something of the sort, I had to wait an hour before I could even get angry, I was so confused.

I hate to say it's definitely offensive, because I'm sure there are ways to do things like that right, but I have yet to see any.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Here via metafandom - your post reminds me of a comment in Terry Pratchett's Jingo, the exact phrasing of which I can't remember, but the gist of which was "Real equality is letting the other guy be a bastard, too." It's not anti-ablism if people with disabilities can't be fully developed characters like everyone else.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly! *Pauses a suitable amount of time to worship the brilliance that is Terry Pratchett*. chasingtides here on Livejournal said in her own post, "Somehow disability - whether temporary or permanent - makes our characters more cuddly." Make disabled characters, not metaphors!

[gement.livejournal.com]

Bravi, bravi, bravisimi. (Here from kaizoku. Amen, and thanks for reminding me to consider disabilities in my own work.)

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I didn't even realize kaizoku had linked to me. I hope you do. You'd have a built in audience. I'm much more likely to read a given piece of erotica (or anything, really) if at least one character has a disability.

[ladyjax.livejournal.com]

I came this way via friends of friends (or something like that). Thank you very much for your insightful post. It reminded me of those times when I need to shut up and listen just as I expect people to shut up and listen when I lay something out about race.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I spent most of Racefail09 reading and going "I hope I don't sound like that... Oh I probably do. MUST WORK ON THAT!" Shutting up and listening is good. Contributing works with as little fail as one is capable of is better! *Is sad that you don't write for any of the fandoms I read*

[coldneedles.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. It needed to be said and you did so brilliantly, although it should go without saying.

I'm chronically ill and coming to identify as disabled and I've been very frustrated at the portrayl of disability in fandom. I read things with disabled characters because the world assumes that everyone is ablebodied/neurotypical and for once I want to see someone vaguely like me represented.

But I keep running into terrible stories and people in the comments are all amazing! inspiring! tragic! and I'm left thinking, well that's like my life and I didn't find that story inspirational, it just made me feel bad about myself. And then I wonder if I've got the spoons to deal with criticising someone's ableist masterpiece and probably getting a load of abuse back.

(If you're interested what's currently makng me wince is this story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4342893/1/A_Dimly_Lit_Summer)

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

*Reads beginning of fic, vomits into mouth, can't finish* So nice of you to inflict that on me.

I realized a few months ago that every single original novel idea either starred a character with disabilities or had a character with disabilities in an important position with lots of screen time. The one novel that didn't has the character gain two disabilities at the end and carry them on through the next two books in the trilogy. Only one of them shares my disability, but still. All of them are plot movers. This is a drop in the bucket, but I kinda hope kids with disabilities will run across them instead of The Secret Garden. I also am now making a concerted effort to write more characters with disabilities in my fic, so that there's one more person out there writing things like the above monstrosity. I don't know about you, but I don't think I have the stomach to comment on it.

The portrayal of characters with disabilities (and their parents) is one of the reasons I fell hard and fast for Avatar the last Airbender. That's pop culture, yes? Maybe that'll do some good. Also, their fandom seems to have less fail in that area (though like all fandoms, it makes up for it in others).

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

*blush*