Absolutely Worthless Post

[attackfish]

So that charity meme was a bust, huh?

...I hate all of you.  It's still open, btw.

Okay, so anyway, I was watching the Avengers with my siblings, and yes, it did take me this long to watch it, shoot me for being late to the party.  And I don't exactly feel fannish about it, but I have this one plot bunny that just won't leave me alone.  A couple of years after Avatar: the Last Airbender ends, and Zuko's got a good stable grip on both his throne and his sanity, somehow Loki gets sent to the Avatarverse for punishment, or Zuko puts the reigns of the Fire Nation in Mai's very capable hands and finds himself in the Marvel movieverse, and he sets himself to hauling Loki onto the path of the righteous by pulling out his most obnoxious Iroh impression:

LOKI: You will die, puny mortal, you will...
ZUKO: *unimpressed face*
LOKI: When I get my powers back, I will put an end to your pathetic little world.
ZUKO: Hey, chill.  Trying to conquer the world to get Daddy to notice you never ends well.  Trust me.
LOKI: He is not my father, and I'm not-
ZUKO: Tea?
LOKI: *Ragefoam*

Oh come on, you know you want it.

ETA: The "I hate you" at the top of this post is not in any way meant seriously.  I'm joking, and I don't hate any of you, except on days ending in "Q".

Comments

[sahiya]

I hate all of you.

Charming. And ever so motivating.

You catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar. If you want people to participate, there are probably better ways than informing your entire flist that you hate them (and you might have meant it ironically, but it didn't have that ring about it, FYI). Just sayin'.

complete crack

[dungeonwriter.livejournal.com]

My credit card got stolen, so I can't do any transactions until it's clear, so sorry!

I did make a 15 dollar cash donation to the Red Cross, so consider 3 of it in your honor.

I want Azula and Loki to hook up. Seriously. They could bond over slapping around lesser peasants.

Loki-Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.

Azula-Ohhh, very nice subjection, kudos for reminding them it's for their own good. Let me try. Ahem. I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing. So you've had to struggle and connive and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you're born with. The truth is: they don't know which one of us is going to be sitting down on that throne, and which of us is going to be bowing down. But *I* know, and *you* know.

Loki-Sheer poetry, Princess. Your crushing of the lessers was as beautiful as its speaker. Would you consider the overthrowing of an elder brother to get the throne and getting him banished to be a positive or negative action?

Azula-Sending an elder brother into what should be permanent exile would count as a wonderful first date

Loki-It's agreed. Seizing power at seven, then?

--
*Later, as Thor and Zuko are trapped in the Negative Zone and carnage is being wrecked*

Azula-I usually don't commit mass murder on a first date, but you make me feel very comfortable. *fire blasts a village* There are few like you.

Loki-I agree entirely *is blasting with his spear of destiny* But Princess, there are no men like me. Just one very beautiful woman, who is also burdened with glorious purpose. *makes everyone kneel*

Azula-You flatterer? This old thing? The blood of my enemies does make a good red color, I suppose. But you, you know how to dress. That leather's a sharp outfit, Loki…careful, you could puncture the hull of an Empire-Class Fire Nation Battleship, leaving thousands to drown at sea…because it’s so sharp

Loki-I love the way you think. *holds out a ring*

Azula-Are you asking me to....

Loki-Azula, sometimes, when you meet someone...you just know. We can destroy the Avengers and the Avatar. It is our destiny! Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy and all the realms as husband and wife! Be with me. It is the only way.

Azula-Of course! We'll just sleep with one eye open for sudden but inevitable betrayal?

Loki-Naturally.