I Hate "Teachable Moments": Disability and Fanfiction, or How Not to Fail at Disability in Comments

[attackfish]

Writing my current chapterfic, Children of Mars, is becoming a didactic exercise.  The writing itself is as much a pleasure as ever, and has even gained a sense of catharsis, but when it comes time to post, I want to just save it to my computer and never let one more idiot reader anywhere near it.  Now I know not all of you dear readers are idiots, and one of the things I like best about writing fanfiction is the social framework and critique of fandom (yeah, I write for the comments, such a bad girl) and I have never felt this way about posting a fic before.  Before I have always written about able-bodied characters.

My writing Snape with a disability along with werewolfism is part protest at the way characters with disabilities were portrayed in the books I read as a child and part personal expression of myself as a writer with disabilities.  We don’t have the same disability, in the story Snape uses crutches, whereas I’m oxygen dependent and have an immune disease, but we share a certain status as people with disabilities, or (good God) disabled people.  It’s wonderful, and freeing, and it makes me feel so much better after bad days.

But once I post, it seems like so many of the reviews I receive are “teachable moments” and that’s not so wonderful.

Some of you have been saying you can’t wrap your heads around Snape as disabled.  That isn’t because of anything inherent in either Snape as a character or disability, but in cultural narratives that paint people with disabilities as either weak, or more insidiously as plucky, happy symbols of Good, like the damsel in distress in action movies, not a character so much as an object.  Snape will never be a tragic, passive, stoic cripple (a word that I see a lot in reviews and makes me throw up a little in my mouth each time).  He will never be helpless.  He is and always will be a snarky git.  So many of the reviews talk about how horrible all of the other characters are to him.  Well, he’s horrible to them.  Besides which if anyone, even Lily, especially Lily, were suddenly to treat him like a helpless incompetent child who can’t protect himself or do a thing on his own, he would hex them all into oblivion.  When people do that to me, I wish I could.

When I was a kid, books about people with disabilities seemed to end one of two ways.  Either the pure, good, tragic cripple died, or the pure, good, tragic cripple was cured.  Okay, there were also villains whose disabilities were a symbolic sign of their inner corruption, but I’m not even going to touch that one.  Such endings are incredibly disheartening for me, growing up, because I didn’t want to die, and I was never going to be miraculously cured.  I had to carve out a happy ending of my own that included my disability.   For those of you who keep saying you want Snape’s leg repaired at the end, you are tapping into that same disenfranchising cultural narrative.  Stop it.  Stop it now.  Don’t make me get out my squirt bottle of wrathful smiting.  Whatever ending I write (and I will spoil this, if nothing else) Snape and his disability will be around at the end, along with their happy ending.

One thing I didn’t mention about the perfect tragic cripple trope is that they are always portrayed as lacking any sort of sexuality at all.  They neither have sexual feelings or are appropriate objects of desire for other characters.  What. The. Hell.  Okay, okay, there is one type of character with disabilities allowed to lust, the disabled villain.  Of course their sexuality is always portrayed as deviant, and threatening, and further sign of their evil.  Now, no one has sent me a comment with this bit of fail in it, as Snape hasn’t done any more than engage in some canon unrequited Lily love, but I’m waiting,  When the situation calls for them, I’ll get these too.  I have no doubt.

All of this makes me feel even more queasy as I write this, and I get no catharsis or enjoyment from it.  It shouldn’t be my job, but because I will continue writing characters with disabilities, not just in fic but in original works as well, I have put myself in the position of teaching by example, so for my own peace of mind, I must also teach directly.  I’m sure those characters will get similar sorts of reviews, sometimes, if I’m lucky, from reviewers and writers I respect.  When I send my stories out into the world, the knowledge that people will read my characters differently because of their disabilities will always be there.

Snape is not tragic.  He is not a poor crippled boy to be protected and treated nicely by the noble heroes.  He is the hero.  He will fight against and work with his disability, but ultimately, he will do it on his own, like all of us must do at the end of the day.

I’m sure I didn’t cover everything in this post, and a lot of you will be rolling your eyes going “yes, we know all this” and  this is really basic realize people with disabilities are people stuff, but I keep getting comments where I have to reiterate this.  All of you dear readers who do know all this, thank you, and no fear all, I’m still writing Children of Mars and other fanfics.

Comments

[starlady38.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this post (I too am here from metafandom). I shall have to check out your fic; do you mind if I friend you?

P.S. I'd second the recommendation of Fullmetal Alchemist, but the manga, not the anime.

[angel-kathryn.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom.

Thank you for saying this. Thank you. This is really important and I hope lots of people read it and don't forget it.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

A lot of people with disabilities end up with a fair amount of grit, because we get so used to fighting, that when a fight comes our way, we're ready, so her handling it best isn't that unusual. It could work, if you did it well...

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I don't mind at all.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Unfortunately, this is fandom. We forget everything useful. ;)

[blackjackrocket.livejournal.com]

Well, it's got more to do with that she's immune to the army leader's spell than her disability. But I wonder if people will think of her as the "magical disabled person" even though the two don't have anything to do with each other and frankly I personally think it'd be stupid to draw such a conclusion.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

It's possible. The main character of one of my planned novels is disabled (shares mine, actually) and I made an unconscious decision to not have him be one of the ones with magic. As I said, it really hinges on how you do it.

Here from metafandom

[yourlibrarian]

I had to carve out a happy ending of my own that included my disability. For those of you who keep saying you want Snape’s leg repaired at the end, you are tapping into that same disenfranchising cultural narrative. Stop it. Stop it now.

I'm really relieved to hear someone say this. I don't have a disability, but one thing that has always bothered me about reading stories that feature characters developing one is that they nearly always are somehow cured at the end. Even though, realistically, the various affected characters will integrate that experience and it will continue to affect them in the future, it comes across as if the writer is wiping away the character who had the disability in the first place. This is probably because the stories tend to end at that point. You don't see them going on with that experience in their backgrounds, much less going on with the disability in the first place. I find that frustrating.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Onemanga (http://www.onemanga.com/Full_Metal_Alchemist/) has the manga free to read, which might be a good way of checking it out (the manga is much better than at least the first anime). The lead characters are definitely looking for a 'cure,' which might bother you, but they at least have good reason (while one character lost an arm and a leg, the second lead lost his whole body) and the world, which has been wracked by war, has a very busy steampunk prosthetics industry.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you. will do! I'm not actually that bothered by people looking for a cure. While people with disabilities can lead wonderful, fulfilling lives, life's a lot easier without the disability, and if I had the opportunity to cure mine, you can bet I'd take it! I'd be in an odd position identity wise, but I could get over that. Ooh, awesome, steampunk prostheses are a big draw.

Re: Here from metafandom

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

And if the disability was always only temporary, its a "learning experience." Actually, it would probably be pretty cool to read about someone transitioning to being able bodied and learning to live with able bodied privilege. When someone says something stupid about disability, do they still feel the sting, or does it fade, or do they feel the sting and then feel guilty? Mostly though, I want to see more stories with unquestionably happy endings with a disabled character continuing to have their disability, just to show that it's possible.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

*hands you all the internets, ever*

Lord, I am so tired of the plucky cured (or ignored) person with a disability in stories. A wheelchair is not a tragedy, for crying out loud.

I'm getting a t-shirt that says "Disability is no barrier to sex" and wearing it whenever I'm out with my husband. He's a full-time wheelchair user. Even though we're disgustingly couple-y in public, people still assume I'm his caretaker - even after knowing us for months or even years. Because why else would I be hanging out with someone in a wheelchair?

I was watching Joan of Arcadia (I had to stop), and it looked like it was doing good things in terms of HEA endings for Kevin, who became a full-time wheelchair user after a car accident. Should you wish to look up an older show.

[I'm not a big fan of Professor X as an example of a person with a disability in a story, because his wheelchair floats. I've never read or seen anything that shows his disability actually seriously affecting his life, and it's implied at one point that he's only in the wheelchair because his psychic powers keep him there, and that his powers are "payment" for his disability. YMMV, of course. But we'll never see the damned floating wheelchair keeping him out of a doctor's office because the bloody hospital isn't wheelchair accessible. Not that I'm bitter.]

[penguin-attie.livejournal.com]

I have hope that it will get better with time - Sims 2 introduced gay marriage, and with the new "character traits" you can have some kinds of mental disability, like agoraphobia - the sim will get unhappy if there are too many people around, and suddenly snap and run away to hide in an empty room. So I have hopes for the Sims 4 or 5... or maybe 6, considering that the trait is called "loner".

[fizzyblogic.livejournal.com]

Here from metafandom and yes yes YES.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Agoraphobia and social anxiety disorder=being a loner. Really. I'm sure. Actually agoraphobia is the fear of open and unfamiliar spaces. Social anxiety disorder is something different. Well, if they slowly make progress, I guess there's hope. I wonder if anyone's writing to the company.

Yay for computer game gay marriage!

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I LOVE your icon.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I actually would like to see a portrayal of an ignored person with disabilities from the point of view of that person, so long as they aren't plucky, cured, or tragic. So long as the audience doesn't get to ignore the person with disabilities!

I get plucky sometimes, it's an act I adopt when I want to rip someone's head off.

I sometimes drag my friend shares my illness but isn't oxygen dependent around with me so that people will assume she's my caregiver (I take advantage of the invisibility of her disability, but it's okay, she takes advantage of my handicapped parking) and won't randomly pick up my oxygen concentrator or backpack to "help". It's always creepy when a stranger does it, and it's always scary, and they always get angry when I'm not grateful. I guess the "cripples don't have sex" thing really comes from people thinking we can't do anything.

This is actually the first time I've heard of Joan of Arcadia. I will have to check it out.

Neither am I actually, though if I had to use a wheelchair, I'd like it to float. His portrayal, although positive, is Deeply Problematic. The portrayal of Rachel Gordon is much better. I can't top the irony of non wheelchair accessible hospitals... No wait, I can. My school's accessibility center (the tiny department that helps disabled students get through school) is on the second floor of a building with no elevators or ramps, no close handicapped parking, no and braille on the signs. It's down a winding mazelike hall, behind the medieval history department, (fitting, actually) and behind a seven years out of date poster of a lecture series about ninth century Scandinavian royalty.

[penguin-attie.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I would call myself a loner (I like being alone) and I probably have some social anxiety issues (I don't really like talking to more than one person at a time, and I have trouble approaching people), but I really have no problem at all with large unfamiliar spaces full of people (unless they all try to talk to me at the same time). But at least people's minds are not just rainbows and unicorns any more, you can be kleptomaniac, neurotic, mean-spirited, cowardly, and stuff.

I was wondering the same, and I really have no clue, but I think at least the usual horde of crazy fanatics are probably writing "There are sinners in my game! SINNERS I TELL YOU!!1" ...so any kind of positive reinforcement might be a good idea. Unfortunately due to aforementioned issues I always think no one would want to listen to me anyway and it would probably all come out wrong, so I am not the best person to do so...

In other random improvements, now that the Sims 3 has a slider for skin color and for body size (before there was only "normal" and "fat", and without even being "overweight" (according BMI, whatever that's worth) I am larger than "fat"), I really want a slider for body shape from masculine to feminine! Not all girls are perfectly curvy!

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Very good! I like my characters (or sims) realistic! I wouldn't be the right person either, having never played the game (it's not my thing, really) and it would be obvious from any letter I write. Sad, that.

I don't think they need a sliding scale from masculine to feminine, as much as they need to give a greater ability to edit individual proportions. There are a myriad of shapes (women with large hips and small breasts or men with narrow shoulders and narrow hips for example) that wouldn't be well addressed by such a continuum.

[lauredhel.livejournal.com]

"This is actually the first time I've heard of Joan of Arcadia. I will have to check it out."

I haven't watched Joan of Arcadia yet *puts it on list* but I've raved and raved about Friday Night Lights. On paper, it's not even slightly the sort of show I'd want to watch (American football? C'mon), but I was mesmerised. The treatment of disability and the nuanced examination of masculinities was amazingly well done. (Plus, Bechdel and Race!Bechdel all over the place.) I've no idea why it isn't deluged with critical acclaim and viewers/recommendation.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I'm getting all of these great recommendations! It's about time for me to step out of my procedurals box. Thank you!

[lauredhel.livejournal.com]

It also has teenagers talking to each other like teenagers, not like thirty year olds reading a clever script. They are awkward, and stammer, and fail to say stuff they want to say, and screw up without it being an after-school special.

Warning, if you need one: sexual assault plotline, but it's not in any way played for titillation or lightly. One of the best TV drama treatments I've seen.

(I keep thinking of more) And the central love story I just adore. Two people who are very imperfect and again frequently screw up in various ways, but who try to prioritise their marriage (in the face of other priorities pulling at them), and work damn hard at it and love each other deeply; they are each other's rock, even when they go through those "I love you but I don't like you very much right now" phases. Their issues don't get all neatly resolved at the end of each episode with a twee little moral; they weave throughout the seasons and series.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Thanks for warning me. It's not triggery for me (my triggers actually revolve around my seizures, in which I keep most of my coordination, but don't keep my ability to think, or talk or form memories, so psychotic breaks, demonic possession, intense drug use, muting, and mind control.) Also, my deep wish to throw something at the screen when confronted with a rape that's meant to be sexy won't be a problem! Yay!

I will add it to my newly formed netflix queue (I'm excited, can you tell?)

[(Anonymous)]

Last time this came up over at the Six Apart Place (here via Metafandom, btw) I wrote this in response, about writing a character with a disability.

(No one seemed interested then, and probably no one will be interested now.)

http://janecarnall.insanejournal.com/90636.html

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

Well thanks for popping down LJ way! All in all, I found it to be a very good post, and I'm glad you wrote about your decision during writing the fic about not having Mulcahy magically cured at the end and the structural effects on what you could and couldn't write. I'm eleven chapters in, and I still have to rewrite scenes because I forgot Snape's disability.

However please please please edit out your use of the word "crippled". Before you say "But you use it!" Firstly I have a disability, and secondly, I use it for effect, refferencing an attitude I have observed. It's really actually offensive. If you do that, I'll happily link to it in my post.